Advanced Genealogy
by canadianiana
Summary: From an M&M ficcy Friday prompt from tilie12, in which Jeff's mother shows up at Greendale unannounced, expecting to meet the girlfriend Jeff told her he had, named Annie.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Nature vs. Nurture**

"This had better wash off," Jeff says with a frown.

Annie rolls her eyes at him, pointing to the block letters that say WASHABLE. "Trust me, this will help you remember."

"Fine," Jeff grumbles. "I seriously hate this class. How many bones are in the human body again?"

"Two hundred and six."

Jeff raises his eyebrows at her.

"...give or take."

"Ugh."

"We don't have to know ALL of them. Besides, it's not like every single bone has a unique name, so really it's more like... less than half of that number."

"That doesn't make me feel any better. And isn't anatomy a completely different subject than biology?"

"Professor Kane just wants us to review the basics. So if you want my help, stop complaining, and give me your arm."

Jeff purses his lips together, but then he undoes the cuff of his shirt sleeve and rolls it up to his elbow. He's already sitting in the normally vacant seat on Annie's right hand side, but he has to shuffle his chair a bit closer so she can reach. He lays his forearm, palm up, on the table in front of her.

Annie has an array of colorful markers lined up for this task. She starts with red, and draws a straight line from his inner elbow down to the base of his thumb. Then she takes a orange marker and does the same thing from his outer elbow to below his pinky finger. "Okay," she says, "Which bones are these?"

"Um, radius and ulna."

"Right! Which one is which?"

Jeff squints. "Red... is the... radius?"

Annie rolls her eyes at him again. "Yes, but you totally guessed."

"That's true. Well, how am I supposed to remember?"

"Just think that the uLLLna," Annie says, tracing her finger along the orange line, "Goes to your LLLittle finger."

"Oh. That might work."

Annie smiles and carefully labels each line for him in the correct color. "Okay, now your wrist," she says, circling it in purple. "The wrist bones are grouped together and called the 'carpals'."

"Like carpal tunnel?"

"Exactly!" Annie writes CARPALS in the circle so that it's right-side up for him.

"You have an impressive ability to write upside down," he says, smiling at her.

Annie tries not to blush; she can't get flustered every time Jeff compliments her, ESPECIALLY when it's a silly compliment. She focuses instead on using a blue marker to draw five lines, connecting his wrist to each of his fingers across his palm. "These are the metacarpals."

"So, the... carpals within the carpals?" Jeff says jokingly.

"No, ABED." Then she traces the length of each finger in green. "The finger bones are the phalanges. A single one is a phalanx."

She can hear Jeff repeating what she said under his breath a few times. Then he narrows his eyes. "Wait, how many carpal bones are there?"

"Eight, but we don't need to know them."

He gives her a suspicious look. "You know them, though."

Annie shrugs, trying to look nonchalant.

"No, I'm just curious, what are they?"

She shrugs again.

He snatches Annie's notebook from her, where she has numerous detailed color-coded drawings. "Hey!" she protests, tugging it out of his hands. "Fine. Scaphoid, lunate, triquetrum, pisiform, trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, and hamate."

Jeff's eyes widen. "Holy crap, Annie, you didn't even look."

Annie can feel her face redden. She grabs his hand and re-positions it so she can finish labeling. Just as she starts writing M-E-T, though, Jeff flinches, making a blue streak. Annie sighs. "Jeff!"

"Sorry! That tickles."

"Okay, well... you'll just have to remember that you don't have a bone going horizontally through your palm."

Jeff smirks. "I think I can handle that."

Annie shakes her head, but she's smiling. She takes his hand in hers so she can hold it still while she writes. She's so engrossed in what she's doing (and purposefully ignoring the affectionate smile in her peripheral vision), that she doesn't notice the dean come in.

"Aaaaaand, here he is!"

Annie looks up at the dean, who is pointing to Jeff. There's a middle-aged woman standing behind him that Annie thinks looks vaguely familiar, but she can't place her.

Jeff turns around, and Annie can actually feel the muscles in his hand tense as the color drains from his face. He swallows hard. "Mom?"

_Did he just say...?_

The woman smiles at him, a little sadly. "Hello, Jeffrey."

Annie does her very, very best to keep a neutral expression on her face. Inwardly, though, she has so many questions she thinks she's going to explode.

There's a minute of silence. Tension hangs in the air, thick and almost suffocating.

Annie steals a look at Jeff's mom, who appears to be in her fifties or sixties. She kind of looks likes him. She's well put together, and she has somewhat wavy, chin length blonde-gray hair. She looks tired.

"Well!" the dean says, his voice loud and jarring. "As much as I would absolutely LOVE to be a little fly on the wall, I have other... obligations, and the weather is supposed to turn just NASTY. So, I'll just... you know... bzzzzzz." The dean flutters his fingers. It turns into a flourishing wave as he leaves the study room.

Another minute of agonizing silence passes.

"Well, I haven't seen you in over a year, get up and give me a hug," Jeff's mom instructs.

He pushes his chair back and stands, a little clumsily, to do what she says. When he pulls away, his mom sighs, and places a hand on his cheek. "You look good."

"Th-thanks," Jeff says, clearing his throat. "Um... you too."

Annie has never seen Jeff so truly speechless. She's always assumed he has a Winger Speech lined up for any occasion. The sudden appearance of his mother, apparently, is not one of them.

The woman turns, takes a few steps to the study table, and smiles sincerely. "And this must be Annie."

Now behind his mom, Jeff scrunches up his face and clenches his fists for a second. Then he gives Annie a pleading, apologetic look. She doesn't know WHY he's asking, but she knows WHAT he's asking. She smiles back and stands up so they can shake hands. "Annie Edison," she introduces herself.

"Marilyn Winger. It's so nice to finally meet you."

"You too! Jeff's told me so much about you."

Marilyn raises her eyebrows. "Really? If he ever talked to me, he might have had the chance to tell me about you." She turns back to Jeff. "Or about how he's no longer a lawyer and now attends community college."

Jeff looks absolutely crushed.

Annie has an idea. "Well, yes, that's actually why... he hasn't really talked to you much. He just couldn't stand to disappoint you," she says, hoping it sounds convincing.

Marilyn smiles at her gratefully. "You're very sweet. I can already see what my son sees in you."

Annie reddens again, much to her irritation. But she manages to keep her composure. "We should have dinner. How long are you in town?"

"Just for a few days. Believe it or not, I'm here to help a friend of mine look for a condo, not solely to track my son down. Dinner would be lovely."

"Great! We'll set up a reservation then. Would tomorrow night work?"

"That would be perfect. I apologize for showing up unannounced, but Jeffrey didn't leave me much choice." Marilyn says, still smiling, but Annie can hear the slight edge in her voice. "I'll leave you two to your studying."

"We'll give you a call when we know where and when tomorrow," Annie says brightly, wondering how well she's pulling this off.

"Thank you, dear. I'm looking forward to it." Marilyn returns to Jeff and squeezes his arm. "We'll talk tomorrow," she says, giving him a bit of a pointed look.

Jeff nods, apparently still at a loss for words.

And then she's gone.

Annie and Jeff stand in silence for what feels like an eternity, watching the now empty doorway. Annie can see Jeff's shoulders rising and falling; he must be breathing hard. Eventually he shakes his head and turns to her. He looks completely shell-shocked.

"I, umm..." he starts, furrowing his brow. "I... owe you an apology." He sighs. "And... a huge thank you... and an explanation."

Annie smiles reassuringly at him. "It's okay, and you're welcome, and I can guess at least part of it."

Jeff clears his throat and sits down at the table again. He presses his palms into the surface, like he's trying to steady himself. His eyes look in every direction except hers.

Annie sits as well and clasps her hands together, waiting patiently for Jeff to collect his thoughts.

"Yeah, I uh, I may have told my mom a while ago that I have a girlfriend," he says, his voice uneven.

This part she knows. "Named Annie."

Jeff takes a deep breath, then nods. "It was after Michelle dumped me. My mom had been so happy to hear I was actually dating someone, I wasn't even going to tell her we'd broken up. But then she called one night when I was drinking, and I stupidly answered the phone, and even MORE stupidly told her what happened. She was just..." he trails off and sighs heavily. "So... devastated. I figured one more lie wouldn't make things any worse." The last part comes out a bit mumbled.

Annie winces and gently pries one of his hands off the table. He wraps his fingers around hers tightly.

"And then I kept up the lie by just... completely ignoring her, and leaving her voicemails when I knew she wouldn't answer. And I didn't tell you because I, umm... I completely forgot." Jeff laughs dryly. "Holy crap, I am an AWFUL person."

He finally looks at her, and Annie's breath catches. She's not sure how to respond to this Jeff; this utterly sad and remorseful and... unexpected version of him makes a lump form in her throat. She desperately wants to say something comforting, to assure him that's he's not awful. Because he's NOT awful. All she can do, though, is shake her head insistently.

Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't ask you to do this, I'll just make up an excuse for you, and have dinner with my mom... alone... after she found out, obviously through someone else, that I've been lying to her... and not talking to her for a year." It comes out slowly, like he's just realizing what the words mean as he says them.

Annie finds her voice. "No."

He sighs. "Annie..."

"No! I don't know your mom, Jeff, and I don't know what your relationship is like. But I can see when one of my friends needs some moral support."

Jeff looks thoughtfully at their entwined hands.

Annie's heart starts to beat a bit faster. What is she doing? She's agreeing - no, INSISTING - that she pretend to be his girlfriend? She can already hear everyone else telling her how bad of an idea this is (_you shouldn't encourage his lying-something about practically being an escort-it could blow up in your faces-it'll change the group dynamic-success should not be defined by being in a relationship!_).

But that LOOK on his face... and she and Jeff are friends. Good friends. And he clearly needs some help.

"Okay," he says, finally, not sounding convinced.

"Okay," Annie agrees.

There's another minute of silence.

"Listen, can we, umm... can we talk about this later? I have to think... or go for a walk, or something."

"Do you want some company?" Annie asks immediately. "We don't have to talk." _What am I doing what am I doing what am I doing what am I doing..._

Jeff nods absently. She reluctantly extracts her hand from his so that she can pack up her materials. He stares at something on the table that isn't there until she's finished, looking dejected. Then they dress for the cold weather, she slings on her backpack and purse, and they head outside.

"Oh, it's raining," Annie observes once they get to the steps. "That's- AH!" she shrieks as her feet slide out from under her without warning.

Jeff grabs her arm to catch her, but it's so slippery that she ends up pulling him down instead. They land painfully on the concrete next to each other.

"Ow," Annie says.

"Yeah. You okay?"

"Yeah. I think it's safe to call this freezing rain, though."

Jeff nods wearily. He tries to wrap his hand around the railing, but it slips right off again. "God, I can't even get a grip."

Annie looks around. At first glance, it really does just look like it's raining. But everything is becoming covered in ice. EVERYTHING. She can hear squealing tires and faint sounds of people yelping and screaming.

"Okay, this is weird," Jeff says.

"It really is."

"And dangerous. I'm going to drive you home."

"Jeff, you don't-"

"I'm driving you home."

Annie knows better than to argue with that tone. They manage to awkwardly scramble to their feet, and she clings to his arm as they slowly and stiffly make their way across the campus to the parking lot. It's the end of the day, and there are not many people around, but those they do pass aren't having an easy time of it either. Annie sees at least four people fall flat to the ground, and the air is punctuated with "whoa"s and "aah!"s. It's positively surreal.

She can't read Jeff's expression from here, which is bothering her. And she desperately wants to know why he picked HER to name as his imaginary girlfriend. And it's windy and cold and miserable out. (But he's holding her to him tightly, and their gloved hands are clutched together, and she finds she doesn't really mind this situation TOO much.)

When they finally reach Jeff's car, he sighs. Of course, the whole thing is covered in ice.

They kind of half shuffle, half slide over to the driver's side door as Jeff fumbles for his keys and finds the unlock button. He tries to hold them steady while Annie tugs on the handle, but it's no use. She shakes her head.

"It's okay," Jeff says, breathing heavily from just the effort of keeping upright. "I probably wouldn't have been able to get it out of the parking lot anyway." He lets go of her with one hand and taps at the ice that's increasingly coating the windshield. "Or see."

A strong gust of wind kicks up, throwing pellets of ice into Annie's face. She involuntarily turns and buries herself into Jeff's chest as he wraps his arms around her shoulders. "Gahhh this sucks," she says, muffled by his coat.

"Yes it does," he agrees, his voice somewhere near her ear. "Your place isn't far, though, we could walk. Slide. Skate. Fall our way there."

She chuckles. The wind dies down, making things more bearable, and she pulls away from him. She can finally see his face now, and he looks a little bit more like himself. There's still something there, but now he merely looks preoccupied, instead of petrified. He holds her gaze for a second, then pulls his scarf out of his collar. Before Annie can object, he wraps it around her neck and ties it in a knot.

"Come on," he says, turning her around so they can set off.

Luckily, the wind is behind them, and although the sidewalks are bad, the few cars that are on the road leave slightly melted paths. They walk slowly, leaning on each other for support, their feet barely leaving the ground. They stay on the road when they can, and carefully move off to the side when a car comes. Annie tucks her chin into Jeff's scarf, grateful to have it. It's warm, and every time she breathes in she can smell him, which is oddly comforting.

They fall twice.

The second time, it's almost impossible for them to get up. Annie feels like she's stuck in a cartoon, where her feet and hands and knees are moving, but she's not going anywhere. They end up sitting on the cold ground, laughing at the ridiculousness of it, because, really, what else can you do? When everything is covered in ice, and the world loses its friction, then everybody slips, everybody loses their balance, everybody falls.

Jeff shakes his head as they gain control of their giggles. "I'm not helping at all. I'm just dragging you down with me."

Annie scoffs at him. "Are you kidding? This is way better than doing it by myself. I'm glad you're here."

He looks at her, almost surprised.

She smiles at him, but he probably can't tell through his scarf, which is now covering half her face. "Come on, we're almost there, we can do this," Annie insists, bracing her hands against his bent knee. She manages to get her feet somewhat solidly underneath her and slowly stands up, with Jeff helping from the ground.

Getting Jeff up is harder, and awkward, but they finally manage.

Eventually, they reach their destination. Annie is exhausted, and can already feel her muscles aching. She cranes her neck to look up at Jeff, who looks cold. She feels bad for stealing his scarf, even though she didn't steal it; he gave it to her. She's happy, for once, that the front door of the building has been propped open, and Jeff wordlessly follows her inside and up the three flights of stairs.

Annie takes off his scarf as they approach her front door. But she hesitates to give it back to him, because... she doesn't really want him to leave. She fiddles with it in her hands instead, and then turns to him and sighs. "You're not really going to walk all the way home right now, are you?"

He shrugs. "I hadn't really thought that far. I just wanted to make sure you got home."

She can't fight the smile that's tugging at her lips. So she doesn't. Annie holds onto each end of the scarf and then tosses it over his head. She uses it to pull herself up on her toes and then places a gentle (albeit slightly lingering) kiss on his cheek. "You're a good person, Jeff," she tells him quietly.

He sighs across her ear.

His eyes are closed as Annie takes a step back from him, and when he opens them, he looks like he really wants to say something. But he doesn't.

Annie's front door swings open.

"Hey guys," Abed says, holding a bowl of popcorn. "You should come in, everyone else is here."

Annie and Jeff look at each other curiously, and as they enter the apartment, they're greeted by two folded blanket doors. The boys' fort has apparently been extended into the living room.

"What's going on?" Annie asks as she takes off her backpack and coat and climbs inside. Pillows and couch cushions cover the floor, and the blanket ceilings and walls are suspended between the rearranged chairs and other furniture. Troy, Britta, and Shirley are on one side, Pierce is sitting across from them, and a couple of empty spaces remain in between.

"Impromtu movie marathon," Abed explains as he settles back down next to Pierce. "We were hanging out here after class when we heard about the weather. So we decided to hunker down."

Annie looks back to Jeff, worried that he'd rather be alone. He does look slightly troubled about something, but when he excuses himself to duck out and make a phone call, Annie figures it out. She throws her backpack and coat and everything into her bedroom before taking one of the empty spaces against the love seat. Jeff returns after a minute and joins her.

"Is your mom okay?" Annie asks him quietly.

He nods. Then he takes out his phone and starts texting, which Annie takes as a sign to leave him alone.

That is, until, her own phone buzzes next to her.

**I know we should talk about this, I just don't want to do it in front of everyone**

Annie steals a glance at him, but he's already leaning away from her, asking Pierce which movies they've watched so far. She thinks for a second before typing out a message back:

**We can just talk about it tomorrow if you want**

Jeff glances at his phone while listening to Pierce trying (and mostly failing) to remember the movies' names, and furrows his eyebrows.

**Really? You don't have any burning questions?**

Annie decides to just be honest.

**Well, of course I do, but I respect your privacy**

He frowns.

**No, see, this is when you're supposed to scold me for being a liar, not be all nice to me and supportive **

She stares at the text for a minute; that's not the response she was expecting.

**Well, I'd be a pretty crappy friend, then**

**I'm sure you had your reasons for lying**

Jeff sighs.

"What are you guys talking about?" Abed asks from across the fort.

Annie and Jeff look up, a little guiltily.

"Nothing," Jeff says.

"You guys are texting each other."

"No, we're not," Annie lies.

Pierce grabs Jeff's phone with surprising deftness.

"Hey!" Jeff shouts, swatting for it.

Pierce pushes him away with one hand. "Annie just said: I'm sure you had your reasons for lying," he reads.

"Ooh, lying about what?" Troy asks.

Jeff lunges at Pierce, who tosses it to his right. "Ay-bed!"

Abed catches the phone and scrolls up. "I know we should talk about this, I just don't want to do it in front of everyone."

Everyone turns to Jeff, who scowls. "Well, I would think this would be obvious, but I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

Britta rolls her eyes. "Well, you know, if you don't want to talk about something in front of everyone, maybe you shouldn't talk about it IN FRONT OF EVERYONE."

"Hey, I thought I was texting Annie, not the whole room."

There are overlapping arguments about how he's texting her in front of the whole room, which is the same thing, about how obvious they were being, about how it's rude, and about how he's gay. Jeff sighs, exasperated. "Okay, okay, OKAY."

The arguments stop.

"My mom is here, okay? I didn't know she was coming, and she showed up at school. She... still thought I was a lawyer."

There are boos and disgusted sighs of "Oh, Jeff...", and he looks at Annie, gesturing toward them like: _you see? _

But Abed is looking at them through narrowed eyes. "That's not what you were texting about."

Jeff clears his throat. "What do you mean?"

"You guys were talking about one specific lie," Abed declares. He taps Jeff's phone. "A lie that involves Annie."

Annie stares at him, incredulous. "How could you possibly know that?"

He shrugs. "Semantics. Wording. My knowledge of you guys."

Jeff gives a significant look to Annie and then sighs. "Fine. I might have also told my mom a while ago that I was in a relationship."

Abed snaps his fingers. "You told your mom that Annie was your girlfriend, and when she showed up unannounced to confront you about one lie, Annie went along with it to spare you the pain of admitting another."

"WHAT?" Britta, Troy, Shirley, and Pierce exclaim at once.

"Yeah, uh, what he said."

"You told your mom ANNIE was your girlfriend?" Britta asks.

"YES, okay?"

"That's a terrible thing to do, Jeffrey," Shirley says seriously.

"I'm aware of that."

"Yeah, but why ANNIE?"

Annie holds her breath; she would like to know this as well. She's so curious she forgets to be insulted at Britta's tone.

Jeff glares at her. "I don't know, because it was easier than telling her I was dating a water filter?"

Britta huffs and crosses her arms.

Annie deflates slightly, although she's not sure what answer she was expecting.

"Why not just make up a girl completely?" Troy asks. Then his eyes widen. "That'd be AWESOME."

"Actually, that's asking for trouble. It makes sense for Jeff to pick Annie," Abed says, shaking a finger thoughtfully. "He knows her well, and vice versa. You guys trust each other. Also, Annie is quick on her feet, and less likely to Britta up a classic sitcom ruse like this one."

Britta huffs louder and Troy gives her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

Jeff leans over to grab his phone back from Abed.

"What's that on your hand?" Britta asks with narrowed eyes.

"Nothing," he says quickly.

But she refuses to let it go. "Why do you have marker on your hand?"

"If you knew what it was, then why did you ask?"

"It was my idea, we were studying anatomy," Annie jumps in, feeling bad that Jeff is getting picked on so much.

Everyone makes an "oooooOOOOoooohh" sound. (Except for Pierce, who says, "I thought you two were just FAKE boning!")

"Really?" Jeff asks, his voice dripping with disdain. "What are we, in an 90s sitcom now?"

"Well, you guys ARE in a fake relationship," Abed points out.

"Yes. And now that my dark secret is out, can we just watch a movie please?"

Everyone grumbles about this still being a terrible idea, and Annie hears something about someone's name having two T's, and that being an important distinction. But then Abed starts the next movie in their Mel Brooks marathon (Young Frankenstein), and things quiet down.

She shifts in her seat, trying to get comfortable on the floor next to Jeff. She desperately wants to keep talking to him, but she already said it could wait until tomorrow. And she doesn't want to risk getting caught texting again.

Jeff stretches his arm across the loveseat behind her, and she can't help but lean into him slightly. She doesn't even notice his phone in his other hand until hers buzzes again.

**You were right, you know**

Annie frowns and tries to stealthily type out a reply.

**About what?**

**My reasons for lying, it's what you said to my mom**

**I just couldn't stand to disappoint her**

**I'll get to do that lots tomorrow night, though, so... yay!**

Annie really, really wants to give him a hug.

**I'd hug you right now if it wasn't going to cause such an uproar**

Jeff stifles a chuckle.

**Thanks**

**You really think we can pull this off? **

**I mean, obviously YOU can**

**But she is my mom, she knows me pretty well**

Annie pretends to watch the movie for a second.

**We totally can**

**We make a good team, remember?**

Jeff stares at his phone for a minute before catching her eye. He takes a deep breath, then nods.

Annie smiles at him and turns her attention to the movie.

But then Jeff shifts closer to her, so that they're practically cuddling together, and Annie is completely distracted for the rest of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Theories and Practical Applications**

Annie wakes up, stiff and groggy. As her eyes adjust to the dim morning light streaming into the blanket fort, she sees that they all passed out pretty much where they were. She can't really move, which is weird... until she realizes that Jeff's arms are tightly wrapped around her.

She sucks in a squeak of surprise. She's pressed against his side, her head turned into his shoulder. _Oh god. If everyone sees us like this, we'll never hear the end of it._ Annie wiggles her body a bit, trying to get free. Then she moves her head and cries out at the pain that shoots through her neck.

Everyone is instantly awake.

Luckily, that includes Jeff, and he quickly drops his arms before anyone seems to notice.

"What was that? Are we getting attacked by a Frankenstein?" Troy asks.

"Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster, Troy," Abed sleepily corrects him.

"Everything's fine," Annie tries to assure them.

"Mmmm, what time is it?" Britta mumbles. Annie notices then, for the first time, that she's basically cuddling with Troy too. Britta makes eye contact with her and hastily sits up straight.

Jeff squints at his phone. "It's 7:30am."

There's a collective groan, and complaints from Shirley and Pierce about being too old and delicate to sleep on the floor, as everyone slowly gets up.

Annie starts to move and inhales sharply.

Jeff nudges her. "You okay?"

She nods, rubbing at the stiff muscles in her neck. "Just slept funny."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's okay, I..." Annie cuts herself off before she says something stupid. Something stupid like, _I liked cuddling up with you._

"Ooh, everything is so pretty outside!" Shirley exclaims from over by the window.

"I just called the school. They've closed down because of the weather," Abed informs everyone.

The news gives them all time to sort out what they'll be doing for the day. Pierce calls up a chaffeur service that he uses sometimes; he offers Shirley a ride home as well, which she begrudgingly accepts. Troy decides to walk with Britta back to campus to retrieve her car, leaving Jeff and Annie with Abed.

After everyone else has left, the remaining three silently collapse the extended part of the fort and put the furniture back. Annie is preoccupied with having "slept with" Jeff, and Jeff (she imagines) is preoccupied with this coming evening. And Abed just doesn't mind the silence.

Their task completed, the two boys sit at the dining room table while Annie makes them all some tea. Every time she turns her head, she can't stop a pained noise from escaping. It's not just her neck, either, her whole body is protesting yesterday's events. She finally collapses into a chair next to Jeff and sighs.

"So, Abed," Jeff says, staring into his mug. "This is a classic sitcom ruse, is that what you called it?"

"Yep. Characters pretending to be other characters' significant others happens more than you'd think. There's different reasons for it, but usually it boils down to someone trying to save face."

"Hmm. Does it ever work?"

Abed tilts his head, thinking. "It depends on the objective, I guess."

"Okay, well, my objective is to convince my mom that Annie is my girlfriend, do you think we can pull it off?"

"Probably. You guys have a good foundation for a relationship: you spend a fair amount of time together, you get along well, you're obviously attracted to each other."

Annie coughs, inhaling some of her tea. She avoids looking at either of them as she tries to clear her throat, and not choke. (She doesn't notice Jeff's hand move towards her slightly.)

Abed apparently decides to ignore her reaction. "I don't think you need to worry about how to act around each other, it's the details that might cause suspicion, if anything."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think the tendency is to over-plan, and work out every single detail of the relationship. But you'll never remember all of that if it isn't true. The easiest way of convincing someone of a lie is to have it be as close to the truth as possible. You should know that, Jeff. The details aren't actually hard to fake, as long as you guys agree upon a few important things, like an anniversary date. The other things should just come out naturally."

Annie thinks about what Abed is saying, and it makes her nervous. She had definitely been planning on working out their entire almost-two-year-long fake relationship. "So what, we just improv?" she asks, her voice higher than she wants it to be.

"Exactly. You don't have to make up whole scenarios involving the two of you. Just talk about things you've actually done, and embellish them. Try to think of past events using a shipper lens."

Jeff frowns. "I'm sorry, a what now?"

"Fans that really want a certain pairing of characters to get together are called 'shippers'. They tend to put a relationship-y spin on all of the interactions between those two people."

Annie shifts uncomfortably in her chair. Her mind instantly jumps to last year, when she apparently made that same mistake. Jeff had called her out in front of everyone for reading too much into their interactions, and now Abed is telling them to do just that.

Jeff must sense how she's feeling, because he reminds her, "You don't have to do this."

Annie forces herself to look at him. His eyes are full of apprehension, and for some reason that makes her feel a bit better. She smiles at him reassuringly. "I know."

"All right, well..." Jeff starts, draining the last of his tea. "I should go get my car. And see if any restaurants are actually open today."

"Cool. Cool cool cool."

Then he looks at Annie with an expression she can't read. Usually she's good at that, especially with Jeff. This look, though, she hasn't a clue. Fear? No, that can't be right.

"I'll call you in a bit, okay?" he finally asks her.

She nods, and is proud of herself for not jumping straight out of her chair when Jeff stands and casually places a kiss on the top of her head. It's not weird that he does that, though, which... is weird.

"Just practicing," Jeff says in response to a question no one asked. Then he (rather quickly) grabs his coat and scarf on his way out, the door shutting loudly behind him.

Annie stares intently at the dregs of her tea. "Abed?"

"Yep."

"Is this a bad idea?"

"That depends. I know Jeff's reason for doing this, but what's yours?"

Annie thinks for a second: why IS she doing this? "I just want to help Jeff get through the evening. I just want to... be his friend, and support him."

Abed nods. "Then it's not a bad idea. You're in a unique position to do that."

She narrows her eyes at him, confused. "Why is that?"

He shrugs. "Jeff has a hard time keeping his guard up around you. The unexpected arrival of his mother has undoubtedly put him in a vulnerable position. And normally, Jeff wouldn't allow anyone to see him like that. He definitely wouldn't be okay with any of the rest of us being there tonight. But he wants you there. For whatever reason, you're different."

Annie can only "hmm" in response. She nods when Abed tells her that he's going to go shower, and remembers to thank him when he collects the three mugs from the table and takes them to the kitchen. She knows that Abed is right; Jeff does act differently around her, and his normal social rules don't seem to apply with them. Her.

In the interest of not reading too much into things, Annie stops herself from speculating as to WHY that might be the case. She focuses on getting up and doing the few dishes that need to be done instead. It's Abed's turn, but it gives her something productive to do. When she's finished with the dishes, she wipes down all of the counters, scrubbing hard, trying to use up her nervous energy.

Aftewards, she heads to her room to start the arduous task of figuring out what to wear. She frowns at the clothes in her closet, wondering if Jeff will make a reservation at a really nice place. She pulls out a few dresses, but instead of trying them on, she finds herself reaching for her phone, and then putting it down again. He said he would call her.

As if on cue, her phone rings.

She purposefully lets it ring a couple of times, and suddenly feels absurdly like a GIRL eagerly waiting for a call from a BOY while trying not to SEEM eager. Instead of, say, a friend calling a friend. Absurd. She picks up the phone. "Hey."

"I've fallen three times already, and I'm only halfway to campus," Jeff says, breathing heavily.

Annie smiles sympathetically. "I'm sorry. Still bad out?"

"Bout the same as yesterday. It's not as much fun alone, though."

Butterflies flutter in Annie's stomach at the pseudo-compliment. She silently tells them to go away. "Well, be careful. Don't get hit by a car or anything."

He huffs out a chuckle. "I'll try not to."

"Jeff! I'm serious."

"I know, I know, I'm being careful. The power seems to be out in a lot of places, though, I don't know if we'll be able to make a reservation anywhere."

Annie thinks for a second. "Well, we could... just have dinner at your place. I have an easy lasagna recipe I could make."

"Hmm."

She closes her eyes, anxiously listening to him breathe into the phone for a few seconds.

"Yeah, we could do that... I mean, I first told my mom that we were dating about... a year and a half ago. Is it weird that we wouldn't be living together yet?"

A voice in the back of Annie's mind tries to tell her something, but she ignores it so she can focus on Jeff's question. "Um, I don't know," she answers honestly. "I'm not exactly experienced when it comes to relationships."

"You think I am? My last 'relationship' lasted all of a month. Two months? I don't even remember."

"Hey, mine lasted all of four months before my hippie boyfriend decided to seek hacky sack fame in Delaware." Holy crap, when she says it like that, it sounds RIDICULOUS.

Jeff doesn't reply, and she pictures him stifling a smile.

"It's okay, you can laugh, I think that's the most ridiculous sentence I've ever said."

He breaks into laughter, and Annie can't help but join him. Vaughn seems like a very long time ago. They laugh together over the phone for a minute, and then Annie takes a deep breath to regain her composure. She hears Jeff do the same.

"It's okay," she says, still chuckling a bit. "It's like Abed said, we shouldn't get bogged down in the details."

"Right. Okay. So, dinner at my place. Well... I'm getting closer to campus, and it'll take me a little while to chip through the ice on my car, I'm sure, but, umm... when I'm done that... do you want me to come back and pick you up?"

"Oh!" Annie exclaims, unable to hide her surprise.

"I mean, I know it's early still, and Abed said we shouldn't over-plan, but-"

"No, no, I think that's a good idea," she interrupts. "I mean, I said that you've told me a lot about your mom, so you should... probably tell me some things about her." Her heart is pounding. She was kind of nervous about going out to dinner with Jeff and his mom. Then she was pretty nervous about being at his place with his mom, even though it was her idea. Now she's going to be spending the entire day, and evening, alone with Jeff. In his apartment. Pretending to be his girlfriend. Seriously, what the HELL is she doing? "Just, um, call me before you come. I still have to shower."

"Okay, I- whoa, AH, godDAMN it."

"Jeff! Did you fall again?"

"No," he says, his voice strained. "What gave you that idea?"

Annie tsks at him. "You know, I thought you were holding ME up yesterday, but I think I was actually holding YOU up."

"Well, I hate to say I told you so."

"No, you don't!" Annie says with a laugh.

"That's... true."

She sighs. "I should've come with you this morning."

Jeff doesn't answer for a minute, and she can hear clothes rustling, and the wind blowing into the phone. Then Jeff's voice returns. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course!"

"Why?"

"Because, then maybe you could've actually stayed upright."

"No, no, not that. Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?"

Annie's earlier response to Abed's version of this question is still on the tip of her tongue, so she goes with that. "You're my friend, Jeff, as long as you want my help, you'll have it."

Jeff sighs. Or maybe it's just a heavy breath. Or maybe he turned his head into the wind, Annie really can't tell. "Well... thanks," he says. "I should probably call my mom. I'll let you know when I get my car free."

"Okay. Good luck!"

"Yeah, thanks, I'm gonna need it."

Jeff hangs up, and Annie lowers her phone to her lap. She doesn't move for a minute, breathing in deeply, and trying to slow her racing heart.

_I can do this. It's fine, I can do this. I said I would do it, and Jeff needs me to do it, so I can't NOT do it. I'm just gonna follow his lead, and be there for him, and remember why I'm doing this. It's going to be fine._

Then she stands up, determined. They're going to pull this off. They do make a good team, and they work well together. She picks up one of her dresses and holds it up to her shoulders in the mirror. _A year and a half, we can fake that. That's not THAT long. That means Jeff told his mom we were dating..._

The dress falls out of Annie's hands.

..._the summer after our first year._

She stares at herself in the mirror.

_That can't be right. Is that right?_

She closes her eyes and counts the months backwards, sure that she has this wrong. But it's the winter of their third year, which means "a year and a half ago" lands squarely in their first summer.

In their first summer, after he'd slept with Britta, and her and Slater had declared their love for him. In their first summer, after he and Annie kissed. In their first summer, when he didn't talk to her.

For three months.

Annie's knees give out and she lands on her bed. She can't believe this. She can't believe she spent three whole months worrying, and wondering, and waiting to hear from him, and during that time he'd been telling his mom that she was his girlfriend.

She scrunches up her face in frustration.

_Dammit, what does this mean? Does it mean anything? How can this NOT mean anything? _

A knock at her door startles her. "Come in!"

Abed opens the door and leans in. "Bathroom's all yours."

"Thanks."

He looks at her for a second. "Everything okay?"

Annie forces a smile. "Yep."

"Cool."

Abed leaves, and Annie drags herself out of her bedroom to get ready. But she can't concentrate. She grabs her towel, and then looks for it for another three minutes. She washes her hair twice in the shower, then forgets to rinse it out the second time. She ends up stepping out of the tub with shampoo dripping down her back, and has to start the shower again.

Finally, she gets out and catches herself in the mirror. She looks terrified. And confused. And hurt.

And that... kind of pisses her off.

Annie gives her reflection a stern look. "A year and a half ago. It's been a year and a half, and it's STILL getting to you? It's not fair that he should have this much power over you. And it doesn't mean anything. He said it himself, _Annie _just sounded better than _Britta_. It has nothing to do with you. YOU just have a normal name."

That doesn't make Annie feel much better, but she'll take the anger over the confusion. She throws open the bathroom door and goes back to her room, quickly putting on jeans, a tank top, and a cardigan. She grabs the nearest dress to her and rolls it up to put in her purse; she can iron it at Jeff's.

She starts blow-drying her hair, but her room seems unbearably hot, so she opens her bedroom door before continuing. It's not until she's finished that she notices Abed in her doorway. She jumps. "Abed! You scared me."

"Sorry. Who are you talking to?"

"What?"

"You've been talking almost non-stop since you got out of the shower."

Annie's eyes widen. "Oh, umm... myself, I guess. I didn't realize I was talking."

Abed steps a little into her room. "You tend to use self-talk as a coping strategy. Is something wrong?"

She sighs and sits down on the edge of her bed. He comes in and sits next to her. "Abed, Jeff told me that... he started this lie in the summer after our first year at Greendale. Do you remember what happened at the end of our first year?"

"Yep. Jeff slept with Britta during the first paintball game, then she and Professor Slater got into a competition and declared their love for him at the Tranny Dance, then he kissed you."

"Exactly. Then he didn't talk to me for practically that entire summer."

"Hmm."

"So... why me? Why then? I mean, he could've told his mom he'd gotten back together with Slater. But he didn't. What does that mean?" Annie's eyebrows knit together. "Does it mean ANYTHING or am I reading too much into this?"

Abed tilts his head in his characteristic way of thinking. "Annie, as much as I observe and watch people and can predict their behaviors, the specific reasoning behind those behaviors is usually somewhat of a mystery to me."

"But... how can you predict the behaviors if you don't know why they're happening?"

"Well, take Star Burns for example. The lizard, the hat, the star burns: it's clearly a cry for attention. Since I know he's seeking attention, I know the pattern of behaviors he's likely to demonstrate. I don't need to know WHY he's seeking attention. The same goes for Jeff, I don't really know what's going on beneath the surface. Sure, logistically speaking, you were a good choice, but I doubt Jeff planned this whole thing out. Which means, at the very least, you were probably on his mind. People tend to talk about the things that they're thinking about."

Annie flushes, wondering what she's been saying out loud. But she takes his point. It's somewhat comforting to assume that Jeff was at least thinking about her that summer.

Abed places a hand over hers. "You're a good friend, Annie."

Annie smiles at him gratefully and squeezes his hand. "Thanks, Abed."

Her phone rings; it's Jeff again. Abed leaves silently, but Annie can't answer it yet. She has to make a decision about this: she won't be able to fully commit to this fake relationship ridiculousness if she's hung up all day on what it might mean. Either it means nothing, and she can just relax and get into it, or it might mean something, in which case, she probably shouldn't do it at all.

She thinks for too long, and her phone stops ringing.

But then it starts almost immediately again. Annie stares for a second at the _Jeff _on her call display. She thinks about answering the phone, and telling him that she can't do it, that she's backing out. She imagines how he would probably react, and remembers the look on his face in the study room. That stupid, heart-breaking look.

Then she makes up her mind, and picks up the phone. "Hi."

"Hi. So, we have two hundred and six bones, how many muscles do we have?"

Annie is impressed he remembers that fact. "Um, it depends on who you ask. Six hundred and fifty-ish. Why?"

"They're ALL pissed at me."

She smiles. "Yeah, I know the feeling. Did you get in your car at least?"

"Yeah, I'm just literally watching ice melt at the moment."

"Sounds like fun."

"About as much fun as this evening will be," Jeff says, a little bitterly.

"It'll be fine," Annie assures him. Now that she's made up her mind about this, she's absolutely determined. "I'm ready whenever you can get over here. It'll be fine."

There's a slight hesitation, but only a slight one. "All right, I'll take your word for it. As soon as I can see out my windshield, I'll come over."

Annie is satisfied with his answer and is about to say her goodbyes when Jeff continues.

"So, phalanges, metacarpals, carpals, radius and ulna. What's after that?"

She can't help but smile. "At the elbow joint? The humerus."

There's a rustling sound, and then Jeff sounds slightly farther away. "Is it the radius or the ulna that joins there?"

"Both. Did you put me on speaker or something?"

"I'm poking at my arm."

"Palpating," she corrects.

"There's a scientific term for poking at your arm?"

"Examing bones and joints through touch is called palpating, yes."

"Huh. Wait, how does that work? If both bones connect, how can I rotate my forearm?"

Annie rolls her eyes, even though he can't see her. "Hold your hand out with your palm up."

"Okay."

"Now with your other hand, hold onto your forearm."

"Okay."

"Flip your palm down."

"Wha- ohhh. The radius crosses over the ulna. Right?"

Annie is smiling brightly now, happy that her tutoring is effective, even over the phone. "Right. Now PALPATE your shoulder and tell me what's next."

They continue their lesson for the next few minutes, with Jeff picking things up quickly. Only once does Annie have to push away the VERY unhelpful image of her tracing over his ribs in colorful markers.

Eventually, Jeff deems his car able to drive and hangs up (at Annie's insistence) so he can head over and get her. Annie gathers her things and watches out the window for him. She can't help but agree with Shirley that everything being covered in ice makes for a pretty, if not strange, sight.

They fall into an easy conversation on the way back to Jeff's place, and Annie starts to relax, thinking that this won't be so bad. She was just over-reacting earlier. It's going to be fine.

There's only a moment of awkwardness when they first step into Jeff's apartment together, but Jeff manages to dispell it, by, strangely enough, pointing it out.

"Okay, we can't let this be awkward. I'm going to go shower, and you should look around."

"Right," Annie agrees. "I have to at least look like I know where things are."

"Exactly. Make yourself at home." Jeff takes off his shoes, hangs up his coat, and then he's gone.

And Annie is alone. She takes a minute to survey Jeff's apartment; she's been here before, but never for very long. She decides to take Jeff's advice, and make herself at home. The nervous energy she had earlier has been channeled into steely determination, and she hangs up her own coat before poking around.

She's immediately struck by how impersonal his place is. It's very clean, and tidy, and minimalist, but it's more than that. Annie doesn't see any pictures, or anything on the walls, really. He has a nice TV and DVD player, but there are exactly four DVDs stacked up. Annie recognizes all of them as being gifts from Abed.

Annie works her way into the kitchen. She finds his alcohol stash, filled mostly with scotch. The remaining contents of his cupboards don't really surprise her, but he does have some vegetables and other fresh food in the fridge. She pulls out her phone and makes a list of the things they'll need to get for her recipe.

Her stomach grumbles at the thought and sight of food; all they had for dinner last night was popcorn.

She taps her fingers thoughtfully against the fridge door for a second, then grabs eggs, milk, the small bit of cheese Jeff has left, a green pepper and half an onion. She roots around until she finds Jeff's only frying pan, a cutting board, a bowl, and a decently sharp knife, then she gets to work. She separates out the eggs, knowing his issues with cholesterol. She even manages to find a few spices.

His kitchen is small, but has a good amount of counter space. Nice, pretty, marble counter space. Annie gets a little lost in her task. She hears the shower turn off, and senses Jeff's presence a little while later, but she's busy, so she doesn't acknowledge him.

She turns and can see him out of the corner of her eye, leaning against the half wall at the end of the bar. After watching her for a few minutes (which doesn't bother Annie as much as she thought it would), he comes into the kitchen. Jeff places a hand on the small of her back as he steps around her, reaching into a drawer for a spoon. She ignores the goosebumps that raise on the back of her neck, and peeks at the underside of the omelet with her spatula.

Having only one pan has forced Annie to make one rather large omelet, which she'll split between them. Despite the size of the kitchen, Jeff being in there with her doesn't distract her, and she's able to focus on trying to flip the damn thing. When the bottom of it is a nice golden brown, Annie tilts the pan and carefully slides the omelet to the edge. She manages to flick her wrist and catch it in the pan, with one stubborn corner folding itself underneath. But she quickly fixes that and smiles proudly at the result.

She's only half aware of what Jeff's doing. She smells coffee, and hears dishes clattering, and catches the scent of his cologne every time he brushes by her. And it's a small kitchen, so that happens fairly often.

Her giant omelet creation finally complete, Annie divides it into two unequal pieces and carefully deposits them onto the plates that have appeared next to her. She picks up the larger piece and turns to hand the plate to Jeff, just as he turns to her with a mug.

He smiles. "Coffee?"

She smiles back. "Egg white omelet?"

He purses his lips. "I think you win that one."

Her smile widens as they make their exchange, and she grabs her own plate before coming around to sit next to Jeff at the bar counter. As strange as this situation is, the silence that hangs between them is a comfortable one, and Annie starts to actually look forward to hanging out with Jeff for the day.

"This is really good, Annie."

She smiles into her coffee. "Thanks, I figured we were hungry. I kind of forgot about dinner last night."

"Yeah, me too. How's your neck?"

"It's okay, as long as I don't look to the left."

"Hmm. Well, looking to the left is highly overrated."

"Yes! I agree. If I need to look to the left, I'll just turn around three times to right, like Zoolander."

Jeff smirks. "Well, you are ridiculously good looking."

Okay, movie quote or not, THAT was a compliment. But Annie determinedly brushes it off and gives Jeff her best Zoolander face.

He's in the middle of taking a sip of coffee when she does, and practically does a spit take, laughing as he sets down his mug.

They fall back into companionable silence while they finish eating. It's not until after they're done, when Jeff is loading things in the dishwasher, that he says to her, "I don't even know where to start."

Annie knows what he means. "Well... what does your mom do for a living?"

"Um, she's a real estate agent. She only works part-time now, though."

"How old is she?"

"Oh, um, she'll be sixty-three this year. I think."

Annie hands him her plate. "What does she like to do?"

"She reads a lot. She has a pretty tight-knit group of friends, they do... book club things, and... I don't know." Jeff thinks for a minute, rinsing off Annie's plate in the sink. "She likes to play cards, she likes crosswords. She used to spend a good amount of time volunteering in various places." He turns back to the dishwasher. "I don't know if she still does."

Annie smiles at him. "She sounds nice."

Jeff nods, but he's frowning now. Staring down. Thinking again.

They need a distraction. "We need to go grocery shopping," she tells him. "I made a list."

He looks up from the dishwasher and seems to snap himself out of it. "Of course you did," he says, allowing a small smile.

Annie hops down from the bar stool. "Come on, Clyde, let's go."

She grabs both of their coats as Jeff comes around the bar and out of the kitchen. "I think you've been watching too many movies with Abed, Bonnie," he says.

She rolls her eyes at him. "Hey, they were real people! And we ARE partners in crime."

"Fair enough. But I hope tonight doesn't end as badly for us as it did for them," he says, putting on his coat.

Annie looks up at him brightly, bouncing a bit on her toes. "Well, there you go, no matter how bad tonight is, at least it can't possibly be THAT bad."

Jeff smirks and opens the door for her. "Are you trying to make me feel better by saying: 'Hey, tonight might suck, but at least we won't get shot to death in a gruesome stand off'?"

"Yes. Is it working?"

"Surprisingly, yes," he says, closing the door behind them.

The drive to the grocery store is a short one, but on the way there they get into a light-hearted argument about Jeff's serious lack of cookware.

"Give me one good reason I should have more than one frying pan," Jeff challenges her as he parks the car and they cross the parking lot. The ice is starting to melt, so it's not as slippery as it was before. He holds his arm out for her anyway.

She happily accepts it. "Well, I could've used two this morning. Made each of us an omelet instead of one monster one."

"Yeah okay, but when am I ever going to be making two omelets?"

"Oh, come on. You NEVER have anyone else eating breakfast with you?"

"At my place? No."

Annie sighs at him. "So what, when you have women... over... you just kick them out right after... it's... over?" It's a little hard to get out, but she doesn't blush.

"What? No!"

"Right after they wake up in the morning, then?"

He doesn't answer.

"Ugh, Jeff!"

"Hey, I plead the fifth."

Annie is grateful for the warm blast of air that greets them as they enter the grocery store. "You honestly don't ever think about being in an actual relationship, do you?" She's just teasing him, but she can't ignore the intruding thought that, yes, this is EXACTLY true.

Jeff leans away from her to grab a basket, and mumbles something that Annie can't quite hear, but sounds suspiciously like: "Not with any of the women I've slept with."

"What?"

"Nothing," he says, turning back to her. "What do we need?"

Trying to avoid over-thinking is a struggle for Annie, she knows that. And at this moment, her determination is faltering. She desperately wants to believe she heard right, although she's not sure why. It's not exactly a good indication of Jeff's readiness for committment if he's never thought about being in a relationship with ANY of the women he's been with. But it also means he never seriously considered being in a relationship with Slater. Or Britta.

Oh crap, she's thinking about what things mean again. That's enough of that. Seriously. Why does she care, anyway?

Annie grabs her own basket, then pulls out her phone. "Let's start with red peppers."

She leads them through the produce, grabbing a few things (or instructing Jeff to) as they go. That is, until they have to find fresh parsley, which is hiding, or something. Annie sees it first while they're searching, and triumphantly claims a bag of it for her basket. It becomes an upspoken game between them. Racing - while trying to look like they're not racing - to find each item, and obviously, whoever has the most items at the end will win.

Jeff is slightly in the lead when they reach the pasta aisle, but then Annie spots the one remaining box of lasagna noodles they need. The only problem being that it's way at the back of the top shelf, and she can't reach it.

She jumps a couple of times, but it's no use. Jeff saunters around next to her and leans his shoulder against the edge of the shelf. Annie can FEEL the smirk on his face.

"Would you like some help?"

She puts down her basket, and straightens to her full height, such as it is. "No, thank you." She knows this isn't working, though, so Annie clears a small space on the bottom shelf and experimentally presses her foot into it. It seems solid enough to hold her, so she steps onto it and bounces up, not quite far enough on the first try, but on the second try- "Hey!"

Jeff grabs the box just before she can. "Oh, sorry, did you want this?" he asks, holding it over his head.

Annie turns and glares at him. He's just standing there, smirking at her, lording his height over her, with all his TALLNESS, like it's some kind of accomplishment. She doesn't take her eyes off his and makes a quick move, latching onto his bicep and pouncing at his hand. It almost works, but Jeff jerks his arm back, unintentionally pulling Annie into him.

In a flash of brilliance (insanity?) Annie sees her advantage, and presses a kiss to his lips.

Their arms fall to their sides, intertwined.

She's flooded with memories from a long time ago, in a gym full of people. Now, just like then, she's doing this for a reason, but, god, it's Jeff, it's JEFF, and he's kissing her back, and she's on her toes because of his stupid tallness, and she can't help but savor it for one second... okay, two seconds... THREE seconds longer than necessary before tearing away from him, snatching the box as she does.

Annie spins around to put the noodles in her basket and tries really, really hard to ignore the rush she's feeling. It's a good rush, though, and her spur-of-the-moment plan totally worked. She turns back to Jeff, smiling at him smugly.

His eyes are narrowed, and he's shaking a pointed finger at her, but he's fighting a smile. "That... was dirty pool."

She puts on her best innocent expression. "What? I was just practicing."

Before he can respond, they hear the distinct voice of someone all too familiar.

"Well! Isn't this a coinci-DEANce!"

Jeff groans and turns to see the dean standing almost directly behind him. "Gah!" he exclaims, flinching away and ending up next to Annie. "How long have you been standing there?"

The dean smiles at him in a way that can only mean: _Oh please, Jeffrey, I saw EVERYTHING._

"It's not what you think," Annie tries to tell him.

"Mmhmm," the dean hums sarcastically. "So this has nothing to do with a certain less-than-real relationship a certain someone told someone's mother he has?"

"Oh. My. God. What did you do, just crouch outside the study room door?" Jeff asks, incredulous.

"Please," the dean scoffs at him, waving a dismissive hand. "I hardly ever do that anymore. Besides, your mother doesn't seem to be anywhere around here, Mr. Winger, so why, I wonder, just WHY might you be... locking lips with Miss Edison?"

Annie can see Jeff's jaw clench in frustration. But this was her fault, so she's going to fix it. And she knows just how to do it. "Look, I'm sorry to be rude, Dean Pelton, but you're kind of wrecking our take."

The dean gives her a suspicious look. "Take?"

"Yeah, you didn't think we were ACTUALLY faking being in relationship, did you?" Annie baits him, using her most condescending tone. (Which, because it's Annie, is really not all that condescending.)

"Well, no, of course not..." the dean says cautiously.

_Got him._ "Okay, so would you mind? Because Abed has a lot of other scenes for us to do."

Annie can see the wheels turning in his head. "Scenes? But Abed isn't here..."

"No, of course not. He's doing this whole cinematic realism thing with security cameras. It's like _Paranormal Activity_, but a love story instead of ghosts... or aliens, or whatever it is," she improvises.

The dean regards her for a minute, searching for any indication she might be lying.

But Annie totally has this. She stares him down, her eyebrows slightly raised, her face a perfect mask of innocence and _seriously-you're-taking-up-our-time-would-you-mind?_

Eventually, the dean sighs. "FINE. I guess that makes sense."

(It doesn't make sense, really, but Annie is convincing.)

"And I GUESS I should leave you to your ACTING," he pouts, brushing past Jeff.

They watch him leave, looking suspiciously over his shoulder for Abed's nonexistent cameras. Once he's out of sight, Annie proudly turns to Jeff. She's caught a little off-guard by the look on his face. It's another one that she can't label - _seriously, what is WITH that today?_ - but the expression is soft, and almost a little searching, and it means... nothing. It means nothing. Absolutely. She picks up her basket and turns to continue their shopping.

Jeff grabs her arm. "Cinematic realism?"

She turns back to him with wide eyes. "What, no good?"

He shakes his head. "No, that was perfect, I just meant... where do you come up with this stuff?"

Annie shrugs, smiling. "I don't know. But someone has to fill in while the Winger Speech is apparently on vacation."

"Ouch."

"I'm sure it'll be back," she teases him. "Come on, we don't have much more to get."

Annie and Jeff finish their shopping, somehow coming out with the same number of items in each of their baskets. They silently call it a tie.

The rest of the day is, well... fun. There's no other way to describe it. Which is strange, because the things they're doing aren't exactly fun. Really, they're just doing chores, like putting away the groceries at Jeff's, or going back to Annie's place to borrow a folding table and chairs. Plus, she knows that Jeff is definitely not looking forward to the coming evening. More than once throughout the day, she catches him staring off into space, looking petrified again. Annie fills her heads with plans to keep them as distracted as possible, because her heart breaks a little every time she sees that look. But still, they have fun.

They grab a quick lunch together at a small diner on the way back from Annie's, getting into a debate about how long it will be before the dean realizes he was had. (Annie's bet is on a 3:00am sit-up-in-bed epiphany, and Jeff is adamant he won't EVER figure it out.) Jeff insists on paying for her, and they talk and joke and laugh, just like... two friends having lunch.

They prepare the lasagna together, and Jeff proves himself to be a very useful sous chef, which is new concept for Annie. She loves Troy and Abed, but cooking with them usually results in more harm than good. She's pleasantly surprised that she only has to give him the instructions once, and that none of the ingredients end up plastered on the ceiling. Cooking with Jeff is just... easy.

They set up the table and Jeff teaches Annie how to play Gin Rummy, because it's one of his mom's favorites. They play one open hand with Jeff explaining the rules. Then he loses the next three games in a row and decides she's learned enough. ("I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. This game is entirely about organizing and planning; I was doomed from the start.")

Even though they're having a good time, Annie can see Jeff's apprehension steadily building throughout the afternoon. She does a good job keeping them busy, but he becomes quieter and quieter as the day wears on, and she sees that LOOK more often. She stops telling him that it's going to be fine, because there's only so many times she can say it, and he doesn't believe her anyway.

It's late afternoon, though, before she sees the absolute dread creep into his face.

Around 5:00, Annie puts the lasagna in the oven, then pulls out her dress to iron it. She realizes that, in her earlier haste, the dress she grabbed is a summer one. It's one of the few dresses she owns without sleeves, and the cardigan she's wearing doesn't go with it at all. She sighs and irons it quickly before heading to the bathroom to change, and fix her make up. She comes out to find Jeff sitting on the couch, staring at the floor, anxiously tapping his heel on the ground.

"Is this dress inappropriate for having dinner with your fake boyfriend's mother?" she asks him, completely serious.

He looks up at her, and his eyes are a little wild. "Um, no. You look... um..." He scrunches up his face. "I feel like I'm going to throw up. Is that normal?"

"Yes. Anxiety is horrible for that," she says knowingly, sitting down next to him.

He hangs his head. "Okay, so what do I do about it? Because I'd really rather not."

Annie understands his pain all too well, and it hurts to see him experiencing it. She moves closer to him on the couch, and starts to rub soothing circles on his back. "You breathe," she tells him. "In through your nose for five seconds, then out through your mouth for five seconds."

Jeff closes his eyes, and does as she says. She can feel his ribs expanding and contracting under her hand.

"Just breathe," she softly coaches him. "And count. And... remember that... no matter what happens tonight, we'll get through it."

He opens his eyes and slowly lifts his head to look at her. This time, for once, the expression on his face is crystal clear: unspeakable gratitude. It makes Annie's heart melt.

Then, he suddenly pulls her into a hug.

After a second of shock, Annie hugs him back, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. She can feel his heart beating rapidly.

He sighs heavily. "God, I can't even..."

"I know."

"But I really..."

"Jeff, it's okay. I know," she says gently. "You don't have to say it."

They stay like that for a minute, wrapped around each other.

A knock on the door startles them apart. Sheer panic flashes across Jeff's eyes, and for some reason, Annie's instinct is to kiss him.

So for the second time today, she does.

She leans in and presses her lips very softly against his. She can feel him sink into her a bit, and gently kiss her back for a second or two before they both pull away. It's not weird, or awkward, or strategic, it just... is. And when he looks at her, the panic is fading.

Annie takes his hand, and they go to answer the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Natural Selection**

The seven seconds it takes Annie to walk from the couch to the front door are some of the longest of her life.

She had been so focused on distracting Jeff from thinking about tonight that she forgot to think about tonight herself. Her earlier reservations about improvising come crashing back to her all at once, and she feels a stab of regret that they didn't talk about this more. She still doesn't know anything about Jeff's mom, really, and she actually has no idea how this will go. _Oh god, we forgot to pick an anniversary date! Maybe I can-_

Jeff pulls open the door. "Hi, mom."

Marilyn smiles at him. "It's nice to hear that again."

He deflates slightly, but invites her in and takes her coat as she greets Annie warmly.

"Do you want something to drink?" Jeff offers, heading into the kitchen.

Annie suddenly feels useless, and follows him to ostensibly check on the lasagna. Yep, it's cooking.

"Sure," Marilyn replies, settling on one of his bar stools.

Jeff pours three glasses of wine, and Annie gratefully accepts one. It occurs to her that she could make them a salad, which would both give her something to do, and give them something to eat while they're waiting. So she busies herself with that and tries to give Jeff a reassuring smile when he catches her eye. She can be here for him, but he's the one who needs to talk this time.

He sits next to his mom and clears his throat. "So, how did the condo hunting go?"

"Not bad. Greendale doesn't have the biggest selection, but we have a couple more to see tomorrow."

Jeff stares into his wine for a second. "Who's moving here?"

Marilyn sighs. "Debbie. Her and Rob are getting divorced."

"Holy crap, really?" he says, looking up. "What happened?"

"Well, he... cheated on her."

Jeff shakes his head in disbelief. "After all this time?"

"No," Marilyn says sadly. "FOR all this time."

"Seriously?"

She nods.

A look of utter disgust passes across Jeff's face. "God, how could someone do that to someone they're supposed to love?"

For a moment, the only sound is Annie, moving around the kitchen.

"What, you mean lie to them for years on end?" Marilyn asks softly.

Annie freezes, bent at the waist, staring into the fridge. It's so quiet that she swears she can hear the cheese bubbling in the oven. She has absolutely no idea what to do.

Jeff clears his throat again, breaking the silence. "Well, I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

Marilyn lets out a small chuckle, much to Annie's relief. "Still sarcastic, I see."

"Yeah," he agrees. "I'll admit, it's a bit of a defense mechanism."

"I'm not here to attack you, Jeffrey."

He purses his lips. "I know."

Annie realizes she's still staring into the fridge, and there's no reason for her to be, given that it's pretty bare. And that she's not actually looking for anything. So she forces herself to close the door, returning to the counter and facing them once again. Jeff glances at her, and she does her best to look encouraging while she finishes chopping up vegetables.

He takes a deep breath and then looks back to Marilyn. "Mom, I have to ask: how did you find me?"

"I dropped by your old office when Debbie and I got into town yesterday. The secretary told me that you had... left. But Ted happened to be there, and told me where I could find you. He didn't say much else."

"I guess I have a lot of explaining to do, then," Jeff says, his voice a little strained.

Marilyn smiles at him. "It would be nice."

Jeff is struggling; Annie can see it. He's not great with being open and honest, or great at admitting his mistakes. The idea of having to confess YEARS of lying and deceit to someone he really cares about must be positively overwhelming. He shifts in his seat, soundlessly opening and closing his mouth a few times, looking as miserable as Annie's ever seen him.

He's only three feet away from her, but they're separated by the counter, and that's entirely too far. "Why don't we go sit at the table?" she suggests, picking up the salad and leading the way. Marilyn silently follows her into the makeshift dining room while Annie sets the bowl down and turns back to the kitchen to get a few other things. But Jeff seems frozen in his spot, so she takes a detour first.

With him sitting down, their height difference isn't as noticeable. She places a hand on one cheek, and presses a kiss into his temple. She leans back a bit so she can make eye contact, and mouths to him: _Breathe._

He nods, then inhales and exhales deeply before getting to his feet.

The three of them finally settle at the table in tense silence. Nobody eats. But Annie is closer to Jeff now, and is able to take his hand; he laces his fingers between hers. Marilyn looks at Jeff patiently, but also a little apprehensively, while he maintains steady eye contact with his wine glass. Annie can't help but feel that holding hands with Jeff is the only thing reminding him she's here.

"Okay, there's just... I don't know where to start," Jeff admits.

Marilyn nods. "Why don't you start with the school? What are you doing there?"

Jeff sighs heavily. "Replacing my Bachelor's."

"What happened to your Bachelor's?"

"I... never got one."

His mom raises her eyebrows. "You went to college."

He shakes his head. "I didn't graduate."

"You..." Marilyn breathes out, then clears her throat. "Okay. Why not?"

Jeff closes his eyes. "Because I didn't want to put the effort into actually doing the work, and as the classes got harder, it got harder to manipulate things and coast my way through. I failed out in Junior year."

Marilyn sets her wine glass down. Her face is calm, but Annie can see the hurt in her eyes. "That was a long time ago."

He nods.

"What, thirteen years?"

"Something like that."

His mom tries to conceal the pain on her face by taking another sip of wine. "And then what did you do?" she asks.

"I don't know, I bounced around a lot. I had a lot of different jobs, never for very long." He glances at Annie. "I had tried out for The Real World, but that didn't go well."

Despite everything, she cracks a smile, and is temporarily heartened to see Jeff do the same.

But it just as quickly disappears and he looks miserable again. "After a while, I got tired of doing that, and figured out I could talk my way into getting high-paying positions I was in no way qualified for. Eventually, I, um... set my sights even higher, and decided to become a lawyer. I actually did work for Ted for a few years."

Marilyn is shaking her head, her eyebrows knitted together. "I don't understand. How did you... what about the LSATs? And law school?"

"Cheated. And lied."

"But- I don't-" she stutters, visibly getting frustrated. "What about the Bar? What about your job interview? And references?"

"Cheated, and lied. It's kind of my thing," Jeff says, slipping into defense mode again. "Do you really want the specifics?"

There are tears forming in Marilyn's eyes. "No, I just... I..." She sighs.

Annie feels for her; this is a lot of information to take in all at once. She didn't even know some of this herself until now.

"How long have you been at Greendale?"

He finishes his glass of wine before answering. "This is my third year."

"Thi...? Okay. Okay," she says, but her voice is strained. She laughs, suddenly, harshly and dryly. "So when I saw you last Christmas-"

"Yeah."

"And the firm's 'restructuring'? Placing you on a 'new team'? Who-"

"My study group."

Marilyn exhales shakily. "But your stories about them-"

"Embellishment."

"And all the cases you guys have-"

"Lies."

Her eyes suddenly widen. "Columbia? You talked about it SO much, it-"

"Lies!" Jeff snaps. "All of it, okay? What the hell do you want me to say?"

Marilyn clamps a hand over her mouth, stifling a sob. She excuses herself in a whisper before pushing back her chair and quickly walking to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Jeff hits his forehead against the table and leaves it there. "Fuck."

Annie has no idea what possesses her to do what she does next. Maybe it's the fact that her heart is breaking, both for Jeff and for his mom. Maybe it's the fact that she never got the chance to repair things with her own parents. Whatever it is, she gives Jeff's hand a squeeze before letting it go.

Jeff turns his head (still on the table) to look at her. She's not sure she's ever seen him in so much agony, and it only serves to strengthen her resolve. She doesn't explain, she just stands up and heads to the bathroom before she loses her nerve.

Faced with the bathroom door, she takes a deep breath. She knows she's over-stepping her bounds, and should not be doing this, but she knocks anyway. "Marilyn?" she calls softly. "It's Annie."

The handle turns, and the door unlatches. Annie gently pushes it open to see Marilyn sitting on the edge of the tub, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. She eases herself onto the tub next to her.

Annie doesn't allow herself time to think; she just talks. "Jeff didn't mean to snap like that."

Marilyn sighs heavily.

"And I know this probably isn't any consolation, but he feels really horrible about everything."

"Oh, Annie, I don't want him to feel horrible, I just..." she sighs again, staring at the floor. "You know, when my friend Debbie told me about her husband, I couldn't help but think that she was just too trusting. Too naïve. I mean, how could she NOT KNOW, through all these years, that Rob was lying to her face?" She laughs again, wretchedly. "And then it turns out that my own son. For THIRTEEN years. I..."

Annie hands her another tissue.

"Why?" Marilyn asks, a hint of desperation in her voice. "Why would he do this? Did I do something to-"

Annie shakes her head. "No, no, I'm sure it wasn't you! I mean, I can't sit here and claim I have Jeff completely figured out, but he... he loves you. I know that. And he just... couldn't tell you that he failed. He couldn't handle disappointing you. And then I'm sure it just slowly spiralled from there."

Marilyn takes a shaky breath, in and out. "Thirteen. Years. Almost everything he's said... I don't even know who he is! He's my own son, and he's a complete stranger!"

Okay, THIS Annie can help with. "Well, I can only speak to the last three and half years. But, Jeff..." she trails off. How can she sum up JEFF? "Jeff is... my best friend."

The older woman allows a small, watery smile. "I'm glad to hear that." Then she frowns again. "But cheating, and lying, and manipulating... it's just, that's... what his father did best."

Annie tries to swallow the lump in her throat. "He doesn't really talk about his father," she says quietly.

Marilyn shakes her head. "No, I wouldn't expect he would. I loved Bill, once," she says, the misery etched across her face. "But I don't think he ever really loved us. He caused a lot of pain. And I know I wasn't a perfect mother, especially when Bill was around, but I TRIED. I tried SO HARD to... and to think of Jeff turning out just like him, I..."

"He's not," Annie insists. "Jeff is a good person."

A few tears fall. "Is he?"

"Yes," Annie assures her. "I mean, yes, he's charming, and he's handsome, and he knows that. And he's definitely... used that to his advantage. I can't even say that he's never caused any pain, but it's never intentional."

Marilyn sighs.

"But he's also witty, and sweet, and caring, and insanely protective of me and our friends. Like, ridiculously so."

"Your friends. The um, the study group?"

Annie smiles and nods. "I can't even count the number of times he's stood up for one of us. Or gone out of his way for us. I mean, sure, he drives us crazy sometimes, but we all do. The seven of us are, well... we're pretty much a family."

Her tears are slowing now. "I'm glad he has that. He's always been sociable, but really making connections with people seemed... harder for him."

"It still is, I think. But even in the three years that I've known Jeff, he's changed a lot."

Marilyn shakes her head. "I just... I want him to be happy. And I want to know who he is."

Annie feels the slightest twinge of discomfort at this, but she has no idea why, and more important things to focus on. "To be honest, I don't think Jeff has quite figured out who he is yet, either. But he's working on it."

"Hmm."

They sit in silence for a minute. Annie watches Marilyn think, and can see the pain gently ease out of her expression.

"I suppose..." she says slowly. "That I'm not going to get to know him any better hiding out in the bathroom, am I?"

Annie smiles at her. "Probably not."

Marilyn returns her smile. "You love him, don't you?"

"Yes," Annie answers automatically. But she would say the same about anyone in the group.

Marilyn pats her hand gratefully. "I'm very sorry to put all this on you, dear. I wish we could have met under happier circumstances, but I'm so glad you're here."

She blushes, embarrassed at the acknowledgement.

"And I would love to hear some actual stories about your friends."

Annie smiles and stands up. "We do have some unbelievable ones."

Marilyn joins her after disposing of her tissues and checking her reflection in the mirror. Then she gives Annie a quick hug and thanks her, and Annie feels that uncomfortable twinge again.

Guilt. It must be guilt. Here she is, being dishonest, while consoling Marilyn about Jeff being dishonest. But as she follows Marilyn out of the bathroom, she silently replays her side of the conversation, and can't find a word of a lie. Yet the discomfort lingers, a tiny little splinter in the back of her mind.

Jeff looks up from the table as they come back in, his eyes almost immediately going to Annie's. She nods, trying to tell him that it's okay. The two women retake their seats on either side of him.

Jeff clears his throat. "I never actually apologized, did I?" he asks his mom.

She shakes her head, but she doesn't look upset.

"I'm really sorry. For... all of it."

Marilyn sighs. "I know you are."

"...But?"

"But I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things. I want to know what's going on in your life, good and bad."

Jeff nods thoughtfully. "I'm seeing a therapist."

Marilyn raises her eyebrows. "Because of B-"

"He's certainly part of it. But that's not- I mean, I can't blame him for-" Jeff stops and clears his throat. "Believe it or not, I actually thought I was sparing you pain, not... um, you know. But I know I screwed things up pretty fantastically, so I am sorry."

There's a moment of silence, but Marilyn is smiling. "I forgive you, Jeffrey."

The little splinter of guilt in Annie's mind becomes a tiny bit bigger.

He raises his eyebrows. "Really?"

She nods.

"Just like that?"

"Well, I'm sure I'm not completely over it, but I don't want to sit here being angry with you all night. We have a lot of catching up to do," she says, unstacking the smaller bowls in front of her and serving the salad.

"We- yeah, okay," Jeff stutters. He turns to Annie, looking both awestruck and extremely curious.

There's something in his expression that makes Annie blush. After all, she really didn't do anything, she didn't go in there with some grand scheme to salvage the evening, she just... talked.

"So tell me," Marilyn says, handing them each a bowl. "How did you two actually meet?"

"Oh, um..." Jeff starts, sneaking a glance at Annie. "Well, in the study group."

Marilyn rolls her eyes. "That's a terrible story."

Annie stifles a giggle as Jeff shoots her a look.

"You're not going to like the actual story, mom."

"Jeffrey, what did I JUST say?"

"Right, sorry. Okay, fine. The study group started because I lied about having a study group in order to hit on a girl. This girl knew exactly what I was up to, so she invited five other people."

"This girl being...?"

"Our friend, Britta."

"Brita? Like the water filter?"

"But with two T's," Annie clarifies, sharing a smile with Jeff.

"Oh that's right, you've mentioned her before. All right, so you met Annie because... hmm. I guess you're right, that's not a very nice story."

They all laugh at that, which helps to diffuse some of the built-up tension. Annie starts to relax a bit, until Marilyn asks her next question.

"But you didn't start dating right away, did you?"

_Uh oh._

"No," Jeff answers casually. "We were friends for almost a year before that happened."

Annie is extremely glad Jeff seems to have a handle on this. Because she has no idea what she'd say. Maybe Marilyn will let Jeff off the hook.

"And...?"

Or not.

"And... then I asked her out."

_Uh oh..._

Marilyn puts her fork down. "Jeffrey. You were friends for almost a year and then you just... asked her out?"

Annie can hear the doubt in that question, and tries to stay calm as her heart picks up speed.

"Well, basically."

"Come on, this must be a better story than how you met."

"You'd think so, but it's really not."

"Jeffrey..."

"All right, sorry, I'm new at this." Jeff takes a deep breath, and steals another glance at Annie. He's about to speak when he does a double-take, and looks at her again.

Annie's heart is absolutely pounding, and that look on his face isn't helping. _What the hell is he going to say?_

Jeff turns back to his mom. "Okay, so Michelle and I dated... briefly... in the spring of our first year. And after we broke up, I kind of had a... fling... with Britta. Annie, meanwhile, was dating, well, someone else."

"Sounds complicated."

"Yeah, that's an understatement. Anyway, it all kind of came to a head near the end of the year, at the Tranny Dance."

Marilyn almost chokes on a piece of lettuce. "I'm sorry, the WHAT?"

"Transfer Dance," Annie jumps in to explain without thinking. "Dean Pelton is a little..." She has no idea how to finish that sentence, and looks to Jeff for help.

He looks equally at a loss. "Special?" he suggests.

"Unique?" Annie tries.

Jeff nods. "Unique does describe him. Sorry, mom, I forget sometimes that Greendale is its own little world."

Marilyn shakes her head, but she's smiling. "One that I'd like to know."

"See, you say that now, but-"

"Jeffrey."

"Right! Sorry. Where was I?"

"At the Tranny Dance, apparently."

The mention of the dance again causes Annie's heart to jump into her throat. She knows that Jeff is just taking Abed's advice, and keeping the lie as close to the truth as possible. But they never talked about this. And not even just in the sense that they didn't plan this story, but they've NEVER really talked about this. Aside from the very brief post-kiss _please-don't-tell-anyone-because-they'll-murder-me _discussion, and Annie's revelation to the group that fall, they've never mentioned it.

...Because it didn't mean anything.

"Right. So, sometime before the dance," Jeff continues. "Michelle got it into her head that she wanted me back. Which was a terrible idea, and was never going to happen, but she tried. And her trying caused Britta to get... competitive, I guess. And that just made Michelle more competitive. At least, that's what I've been told, none of this made sense to me at the time."

"Hmm. And where was Annie through all of this?"

"She was preparing to leave town. Actually, she had just left town when Britta and Michelle both decided to up their game, and tell me that they loved me."

Marilyn looks appropriately shocked. "They BOTH said-?"

"Declared, really. In front of a gym full of people."

"So what did you do?"

"I ran away."

The déjà vu hits Annie like a brick. Suddenly, she's right there again, in the courtyard outside the dance. She's not sure why this is making her so nervous, but she's sure it's starting to show. Annie stares intently at her salad, hoping that Marilyn is distracted enough by Jeff's story not to notice her distress.

"...when I bumped into Annie," Jeff is in the middle of saying when she forces herself to tune back in.

"I thought Annie had left."

"She had; but luckily for me she changed her mind and decided to come back."

"Why were you thinking of leaving, dear?"

Annie is startled to be addressed directly. She was quite content to sit this conversation out. "Um, my boyfriend at the time was transferring to another state. I had the spontaneous and ill-conceived notion that I'd go with him." _Wait a minute, why did Jeff leave that part out?_

Marilyn smiles. "Sounds like quite the love... polygon."

Jeff smirks. "Not really. I was never actually serious about either Michelle, or Britta."

_Okay, that doesn't mean anything. It confirms absolutely nothing. He's just embellishing. _

"Although, I can't really speak for how Annie felt about, umm..."

_Um? _"Vaughn," she supplies for him.

Jeff shoots her a look again. "Yes, I know."

_That was strange, why wouldn't Jeff even say his name?_

"So then what happened?" Marilyn asks.

"Well... Annie kissed me."

"Hey!" Annie finds herself protesting. "You kissed me right back."

"I'm not denying that," he says with a chuckle. Then he points a finger at her. "But you started it. I still don't really know why."

Annie blushes. "Well, I think it'd be obvious by now, but I kind of had feelings for you." _Oh, crap. That's not why, is it? No, it didn't mean anything! Oh god, he's still looking at me._

"So, you kissed at the... Tranny Dance... and then you asked her out?" Marilyn prompts.

Jeff looks thoughtful for a second. "Not exactly. It took me, what, another month?" he asks Annie. "To, um, to sort myself out and admit I had feelings for her, too." He's still looking at Annie.

_Okay, that's just a blatant lie._ _And none of this tells me any more about why he picked me to be his fake girlfriend. _But she manages to smile at him. "Something like that."

His expression changes a bit. He looks almost... apologetic.

Marilyn stands up to collect the salad bowls. "Well, that's obviously only half the story."

Jeff swallows. "Is it?"

"Yes! When did you start having feelings for her? They didn't just spring up after two other women declared their love for you."

"Well... no, I guess that's true," Jeff says, looking a tiny bit panicked. But Marilyn's back is to them now, so hopefully she doesn't see it. "I'm not sure I can pinpoint the exact moment for you, though."

She rolls her eyes as she returns to the table. "Honestly, Jeffrey, this is like pulling teeth. You must have SOME idea."

He clears his throat. "I can't tell you when I started feeling... differently about Annie, but, um... I can tell you when I first realized it."

Marilyn gestures for him to go ahead. Annie's heart is pounding in her ears again.

"It was in the fall, actually, way before Michelle or Britta. Um, Annie and I were competing in a debate together."

_Okay, of course he would use this story. Because it's easy to embellish, not because it's true._

"I didn't even care about the stupid thing until our opponent was an asshole to Annie."

_That's... kind of true._

"And then we were preparing together," Jeff continues. "And... I don't know, something happened. I mean, Annie quite literally took her hair down, and it just... hit me."

_Exaggeration._

"And as it turned out, to win the debate, Annie had to kiss me. And it was... ahem, well, I certainly didn't complain."

_It was strategic and joyless._

Marilyn is shaking her head. "I'm not even going to ask what you were debating about."

"Probably a good idea."

"So, this was in the fall, you said?" She nudges Jeff's elbow teasingly. "What took you so long?"

He shrugs. "To be honest, mom, I have no idea why Annie would ever agree to date me."

"Oh, Jeffrey."

"No, I'm completely serious. She's way too good for me, and I got tripped up on the age difference." His eyes suddenly widen. "Not that it bothered ME, but I was pretty sure our friends would kill me," he says quickly. "So, even though I knew I had feelings for her, I just... pushed them aside. I was denial about it for a long time."

_Embellishing! And lies. That's all this is._

"Then there was the whole... Michelle, Britta, Annie's..."

Annie looks at him curiously. "Boyfriend."

"Yes, thank you," he says sarcastically. "So yeah, between Michelle, and Britta, and..."

_Seriously, what is his problem? _"Vaughn. His name is Vaughn."

"I know his name."

"Then why aren't you saying it?"

"I'm sorry, I don't like talking about your ex."

_Okay, SERIOUSLY, because it kind of sounds like- _"He STILL bothers you?"

Jeff scoffs at her.

"You know, you weren't exactly single when I was dating him."

"Yeah, but that didn't stop me from being insanely jealous the entire time," he says, then looks like he instantly regrets it.

_That's not... he's just... playing this off really well. Right? That's not true... He might've been a little jealous at first, but he got over it... right? Because he doesn't actually have feelings for me._

"So, it was complicated," Marilyn interjects.

"Yes," Jeff agrees. "Like I said, that's an understatement." He looks right at Annie and then continues. "At one point... I may have even said that there wasn't anything between us at all. In front of all our friends."

Annie's entire body flushes. God, why would he bring that up?

"Jeffrey!" Marilyn scolds him. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"Well, as you might have noticed, mom, I'm not great with feelings," Jeff says, still looking at Annie.

But again, if he's trying to tell her something with just a look, Annie has no idea what it is.

"And, um... Annie kind of caught me off-guard by asking me what was going on with us in front of everyone."

_Okay, this half-truth thing is starting to get annoying. Why is he talking about this? Why is he LOOKING at me like that?_

"Even though I knew there obviously WAS something... going on between us, I was still in complete denial about it. I mean, I couldn't admit it to myself yet, let alone to Annie, let ALONE to all of our friends."

Annie is so, so confused. She has never been more confused about something in her entire life. There is absolutely NO REASON for Jeff to bring this up. It adds nothing to their fake relationship, and doesn't really paint either of them in a favorable light. And although he's talking to his mom, he's looking straight at Annie. Why would he do that?

_I mean, unless... no. That can't be it._

"So I was a complete asshole instead, and panicked, and told her she was reading too much into things. When she wasn't. At all."

_No. No, no, no, no, no, NO, dammit! None of this means anything. NONE of it. He's just lying, and doing a REALLY good job of it. So why is he looking at me like that? Why does he have to sound so damn sincere?_

"I don't think I ever apologized for that, either. But I am really sorry."

Annie has to break eye contact with him. Because he LOOKS like he's trying to tell her that he's ACTUALLY sorry. And that can't be right. If that's the case, then she really WASN'T reading too much into their interactions, which means... what, exactly? Ugh, maybe everyone was right, maybe this was a terrible, terrible idea...

The oven timer goes off, giving Annie a much-appreciated reason to leave the table. She excuses herself without responding to Jeff's apology, because she has NO idea how. When she was worrying earlier about improvising, she was worrying about screwing something up. It never occurred to her that JEFF improvising would be so hard to listen to.

As Annie pulls on oven mitts, she forces herself to take a deep breath, and to think this through.

_Okay, let's say he's telling the truth: that he was in denial he had any feelings for me, so when I called him on it, he panicked and lied and said I was reading into things. That would mean that he's no longer in denial now._

_But THAT would mean... he actually does have feelings for me._

Annie narrows her eyes as she carefully cuts up three pieces of the lasagna. The problem is that she has no way of knowing exactly what those feelings might be.

_There's also the possibility that despite how genuine it seemed, he's just lying through his teeth. But why would he do that? Why bring it up at all unless he actually wanted to apologize?_

_Why does he have to be so INFURIATING?_

"All right, Jeffrey, tell me about Annie."

Annie freezes for a second, but recovers quickly, and continues what she's doing.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I hardly know anything about her. Other than what I've seen, which are all wonderful things, but I'd like to know more."

"No!" Jeff says with a laugh. "We keep talking about her like she's not right in front of us."

"Why, are there things you'd like to say that you don't want me to hear?" Annie asks over her shoulder, making sure to keep her tone light.

"Yes. You are the worst, and I hate you."

She cracks a smile in spite of herself. Damn him and his ability to make her do that.

"See, she's fine with it," Marilyn says brightly.

"All right, well..." Jeff clears his throat.

Annie moves as quietly as possible, a little desperate to make sure she doesn't miss anything he says.

"Annie is... passionate," Jeff starts, quietly. "And driven, and... unreasonably smart. She's the only reason I'm legitimately passing any of my classes this time. In fact, she's probably the only reason that anyone in our group is passing anything."

_That's just an exaggeration. _

"And I'm not exaggerating."

_Great, now he can read my mind._

"Annie not only manages to ace all of her own classes, but she finds the time to be involved in... everything, and organize and tutor all of us, too. Even in classes she's not taking herself, I don't know how she does it."

_I suppose that's mostly true._

"What else?" Marilyn asks.

"Well, we're opposites in some ways. She's idealistic, and sincere, and honest, and I'm... not."

_See! There you go, he said it himself. He's. Not. Sincere. _

"Umm... she's resilient, and she's strong, and she's obviously extremely patient and understanding."

_...except when he is. Because he really REALLY sounds sincere right now. Ugh! _

Annie picks up two of the plates and turns toward the table. Jeff is looking right at her, and she stops dead in her tracks.

"She also has an uncanny ability to see the good in everyone," he says, not breaking her gaze. "Including me, which is nothing short of a miracle, given everything I've done."

_God._

_Damn._

_It._

Annie stays glued to her spot, looking back at him. She can already feel her irritation melting away. Because as good a liar as Jeff is, he's not THIS good. His voice, his face, his eyes, everything is telling her he's being genuine. And he's not cruel; he wouldn't have brought up the whole "Annie of it all" thing for no reason. The fact that he's STILL looking at her, a little anxiously, waiting for her reaction, confirms it for her.

He knows he hurt her, and he's trying to apologize.

She still has no idea what it all means, but it's SO hard to stay mad at him. Especially when he keeps looking at her like this. She offers a small smile, and a reassuring nod. He smiles back at her, visibly relieved.

As Annie serves Jeff and his mom their dinner, and then goes back to get her own, she scolds herself for slipping so easily into the _WHAT DOES IT MEAN? _mindset. She had been doing such a good job, all day, of ignoring those kind of thoughts. She doesn't want to ruin dinner by acting all weird and distant.

Half-truths, almost-truths, genuineness within deception, it's all too complicated for Annie to work out right at this second.

But it doesn't matter, because she's doing this for Jeff. To be here for him, and support him, and be his friend.

_Remember? THAT'S why you are doing this. So, stop it._

As they eat, Jeff and Annie take turns telling stories about the group. Annie finds that Abed was right, it's easy to just talk about the things they actually did, and not worry they're going to slip up and contradict themselves later. She doesn't even embellish that much, and for certain stories (like the whole night school conspiracy thing, which earns Jeff a reproachful look from Marilyn), she doesn't exaggerate at all. She can't help but notice that Jeff doesn't change many details in his accounts, either.

The dinner ends up actually being pretty pleasant. Marilyn looks utterly delighted to be sharing in her son's life. But as glad as Annie is that things are going smoothly, that splinter of guilt steadily works it way further and further into her mind as the evening progresses.

The food has long since been eaten and they've started a game of Gin Rummy when Annie hears her phone ring by the front door. She makes the mistake of turning to look toward it.

"Agh!" she yelps, grabbing her neck.

"Holy crap, is that STILL bothering you?" Jeff asks.

"Yeah, I made the mistake of looking left."

He shakes his head at her, then reaches over, rests his hand on her shoulder, and gently starts kneading his fingers into her skin.

Annie's eyes flutter close of their own volition. She knows (she KNOWS) that the reason this feels SO AMAZING isn't just that her neck is sore. She knows, in the back of her mind, that it has something to do with the person who is attached to the strong fingers currently encouraging her tense muscles to relax. But it doesn't matter. It feels SO GOOD, and Annie is going to let herself enjoy it, for once, while she can.

She opens her eyes and is met with that affectionate smile she's only ever seen from Jeff. It causes such a cozy warmth to spread in her that she decides to screw what it means, and enjoy this too. She smiles back.

(Neither of them notice Marilyn raise her phone, point it at them, and then lower it again.)

Annie's phone starts ringing a second time, and she remembers not to turn her head. She's planning on ignoring it, but then Jeff's phone rings, which is (of course) in his pocket.

He looks at it, shaking his head. "What's up, Abed?" he asks, answering it. "What? Yeah, she's right here." He shrugs and passes the phone to Annie. "Must be important."

Annie takes the phone from him, mouthing _Sorry! _to Marilyn. "Abed?"

"Annie, I realize you're probably busy, but can you come home?"

"What? Why? What's going on?"

"Troy is having a bit of an emotional breakdown."

"A bit- what? Okay, what happened?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure, he won't come out of the Dreamatorium. I don't think I'm helping."

Annie sighs. "All right, can I call you right back?"

"Okay."

Annie hangs up and hands the phone back to Jeff. "Apparently Troy is completely freaking out about something."

"Do you want me to drive you over there?"

"Oh, no, I don't want to run out on-"

"Don't be silly, dear," Marilyn says. "If your kindness and patience are needed elsewhere, we won't keep you all to ourselves."

Annie blushes bright red, but forces herself to look to Jeff. She promised she'd be here for him, she's not just going to leave.

"Besides, I'm actually quite exhausted," Marilyn continues. "And Debbie and I have some early appointments tomorrow. Why don't we just call it a night?"

Jeff raises his eyebrows. "Well, obviously we can if you want to, mom. But I think I can handle this without having Annie here now, if you'd like to stay."

Marilyn chuckles. "Are you sure about that?"

"Not even a little bit."

The prospect of the night coming to an end suddenly hits Annie. It causes a really weird mix of pride that they pulled it all off, frustration that she couldn't stay in control of her thoughts, sadness that it's actually ending, and that always present, increasingly troublesome, needling, nagging guilt.

"I had a good time this evening," Marilyn says with a smile. "But my brain is tired, I don't think I can absorb any more information."

"Fair enough."

_So it's done. We did it._

They gather their things and put on their coats and shoes in relative (but comfortable) silence. Annie also suddenly feels drained, even though the drama is probably far from over. She has no idea what to expect when she gets home, but she gives Abed a quick call to tell him she's on her way.

Annie insists on sitting in the backseat, because she's being dropped off first. She closes her eyes, leans her head back, and listens to the sound of Jeff's and Marilyn's voices, since she can't really hear what they're saying.

Once they reach Annie's, Jeff walks her up to the front door of the building. Then they stop and face each other.

Jeff smiles at her. "I would say thanks, but that sounds... ridiculous."

Annie shakes her head, smiling back at him.

"But, thanks. I quite literally could not have done this without you."

It's a sincere statement, but an exaggeration nonetheless. Annie brushes it off, still smiling. "You would've found a way."

Jeff shrugs. "Maybe." Then he sighs. "But I'm... really, really... REALLY glad... that I didn't have to do this without you."

She can't brush that one off.

And she doesn't want to.

As Jeff leans in, she knows what he's doing: his mom can see them from the car, and it's a good night kiss, so it's not-

His lips connect with hers, and her brain shuts off. All she can feel is the warmth of his hand when it comes up to rest on her cheek, the taste of wine mixed with the taste of Jeff, and the smell of his cologne filling her as she breathes in through her nose. He pulls away just enough to break contact and then immediately kisses her again, his lips pressing a little more insistently this time. Annie opens her mouth a bit, grabbing onto his coat and stretching up on her toes to lean into him. Now she can feel his body flush against the length of hers, and it's almost too much. His other hand finds the small of her back...

She pulls away from him before she loses control of herself completely. They're both breathing a bit heavily, trying to keep it together. He looks as overcome as she feels. But Annie is vaguely aware of the fact that kissing shouldn't be new to them, given the whole _we're-supposed-to-have-been-in-a-relationship-for-a-year-and-a-half_ thing.

(And that this is the third time they've kissed today.)

So she forces a smile. "Well... good night!"

"Yeah, um, good night. Good luck with Troy."

"Thanks," Annie says, quickly retreating into her building before she gives into the urge to kiss him again.

She stops halfway up the stairs, her head spinning.

Annie can't help Troy if she's hung up on Jeff. And there's just SO MUCH about Jeff, and today, and tonight, to be hung up on. There's no way she'll be able to work it out in the next one and half flights.

So she needs to put it away, all of it: the truth, the lies, the in-bewteens, the looks, the hand holding, the compliments, the kissing... oh god, the kissing... NO. It's all going away, shoved into the back corner of her mind, where it can keep that still-growing splinter of guilt company. She can worry about the Jeff of it all tomorrow.

It's a good thing she does, because dealing with the Troy situation ends up taking the rest of her night, and some of the wee hours of the following morning. It takes a LONG time to get him out of the Dreamatorium, and even longer to get out of him what's wrong.

Finally, Annie pieces together that Troy had an EPIC blow out with Britta today, but she can't get him to explain why in a way that makes any sense. Something about Britta's car, a bunch of references to a "HIM" that Troy refuses to elaborate on, and maybe something about one of Britta's cats? Annie has no idea what he means. She spends her time intermittently trying to coax Troy out of the Dreamatorium and decipher his gibberish. Eventually all she can do is reassure him things will be fine (which might be a lie, because she still doesn't know what the problem is), and try to keep him calm.

It's after 1:00am when Troy finally falls asleep and Annie collapses on her bed, completely exhausted. She musters enough energy to roll over and reach for her phone, and sees a text from Jeff. It simply says:

**Thanks again**

Annie lets her phone drop onto the covers. She's not sure what to say to that, but it's too late to reply anyway. She's tired of thinking, she's tired of being confused, and she's really really tired of trying to figure out the meaning of things.

They each met their objectives: Jeff convinced Marilyn that Annie is his girlfriend, and Annie was able to help him get through the night.

For now, that's enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Gene Expression**

Annie's alarm jolts her rudely awake. It seems unusually loud this morning as she blindly gropes for it to make it stop. When her hands find nothing, she's forced to pry her eyes open and actually look for it. Finally, she locates the source of the offensive noise, and shuts it up. Then she rolls onto her back, and stares at the ceiling.

Her head hurts.

And it's a weird, stabbing kind of pain, right at the back. Annie swears it feels like that splinter of guilt somehow manifested itself into a REAL splinter overnight. So much so, in fact, she finds herself lifting her head to gently feel the spot with her fingers.

_Because, right, there's going to be an ACTUAL splinter sticking out of my head. What am I doing?_

Annie drops her arm, irritated.

She knows she should get up. It's Friday, and Greendale will be open again today. But she can't seem to make herself move, so she continues to stare at the ceiling.

Memories from yesterday trickle in.

_"...that didn't stop me from being insanely jealous the entire time..."_

_"...I was never serious about either Michelle, or Britta..."_

_"...I was in denial..."_

But one memory slowly drowns out all of others:

_"...so I panicked, and told her she was reading too much into things. When she wasn't. At all."_

Annie frowns. She had hoped that sleeping would give her some perspective, but things seem even more confusing now than they did last night. It's not long before she finds herself thinking in circles about Jeff's "confession" and apology.

_If Jeff's confession is a lie, then he brought up the whole "Annie of it all" thing to... what? Rub it in my face? He wouldn't do that. So it must be at least partly true. _

_If it was partly true, say... he knows he'd hurt me, but I WAS wrong, and I WAS reading too much into things, then... why would he have chosen last night to apologize like that? Why would he look me in the eye and tell me I was right?_

_Okay, so let's say it's true. All of it. Then he wanted me to know that I was right, that there was something going on between us, and that he's sorry he said there wasn't. _

_But why would he want me to know that?_

It's the WHY part that's troubling. Annie can't escape the fact that no matter how likely it seems Jeff has feelings for her, he's never acted on them. So why would he want her to know the feelings are there? Why would he choose last night to tell her, under the guise of a fake relationship? Is it just because he felt bad and needed to get it off his chest?

That seems... selfish.

Annie groans and rubs her eyes, just as she hears a knock at her door. "Come in!" she calls, forcing herself to sit up.

Abed appears. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, why?" she asks as casually as she can.

He shrugs. "You're just usually up by now."

"Oh, yeah... just slow-moving this morning. It was pretty late when we went to bed last night."

"That's true. But you don't usually wear your clothes to bed, either."

Annie looks down at herself; she's still in her dress. "Not usually, no. Everything's fine, I'm just tired."

"Okay. Oh, how did dinner go last night?"

"Fine." But that's not really accurate. "Well, even."

"That's good," Abed replies. "Right?"

"Um, yeah. I mean, of course."

"Cool."

Annie shakes her head, trying to clear it. "How's Troy doing?"

"He's pretty quiet. I think he's still upset."

"Did you catch any of what he was saying last night?"

"I got something about Britta. You?"

"Same."

"Hmm. Well, the shower's all yours."

"Thanks."

Annie resists the almost overwhelming urge to lie back down again, and gets up like she should. But she might as well be moving through molasses. Everything seems to be taking twice the effort, and three times as long. The pestering pain in the back of her head certainly isn't helping.

In the shower, Annie's mind drifts to Jeff's last text. That really bothers her too for some reason. **Thanks again**? She would have expected something like **How are things going with Troy?** or **Hey, I managed not to piss off my mom in the fifteen minutes we spent alone** or something. SOMETHING other than just... thanks again. It's like he was thanking her for looking after his cat.

Not that Jeff would ever have a cat, probably.

Then cats make Annie think of Britta, which makes her think of Troy. And Britta.

_Wait a minute..._

_Is it just Troy and Britta? Or is it Troy AND Britta...? Huh. _

It doesn't quite explain everything Troy was saying last night. But the idea is enough of a distraction that Annie doesn't think about Jeff again until she sits down to have a quick breakfast. It's the smell of coffee that does it. The same thoughts from earlier start circling in her head, but they have nowhere to land. So she tries (and mostly fails) to ignore them.

The walk to school is strained and silent. Troy is obviously preoccupied with his thoughts, Annie with hers, and, well, Abed is in his own world on the best of days.

Annie is irritated. And she's irritated that she's irritated, because there's no reason for her to be so irritated. I mean, of course she's kind of mad at Jeff for confusing her, but there's no way he did it on purpose. They had a fun day together. Dinner went fine, and they both accomplished what they set out to do. Why isn't that enough? She supposes it could just be the headache, which IS really irritating. But that's not all of it. She just feels... uncomfortable. Out of sorts.

Normally, Annie looks forward to school. She looks forward to her classes, and especially to meeting with the group. Today, though, she just really wants to get the day over with so she can go back to bed.

They're the first to arrive in the group room, and take their usual seats. Annie pulls everything she needs from her backpack and arranges it in front of her out of easy habit. She's barely paying attention. She absently flips through one of her notebooks until she stumbles across her anatomical diagrams, and has to snap the book shut.

She should just ASK him. That's what she needs to do, she needs to just talk to Jeff, and ask him what the hell he meant. But the prospect makes Annie nervous, and she's not sure why.

Which only serves to makes her headache worse.

Shirley arrives, bidding them a warm hello, and Annie surfaces out of her own head long enough to return the sentiment. Then she retreats back into her thoughts while Shirley gushes about the wonderful time she had skating with her boys yesterday.

_Okay, so I'll find some time today to speak to Jeff. He can't get out of telling the truth if I just point-blank ASK him._

_...except... that he has once, already._

The realization slowly dawns on Annie while Shirley's story goes in one ear and out the other.

She's done this before.

THEY'VE done this before, her and Jeff.

She's had all of these same thoughts before, especially during the whole "let's let Rich into the study group" fiasco. She was sure then, too, that there was something underneath Jeff's distaste for Rich, some reason that had something to do with her.

And she HAD asked him about it. She couldn't have asked him more clearly. And all she had gotten out of him was the vaguest response in the history of vague responses. (_"I wish I could give you an answer that makes sense, but relationships are complicated, and we're in the men's room."_)

_Dammit._

Now that she thinks about it, she was wrong about Rich in that situation, too. She was SURE he was interested in her, that's the only reason she mustered up the courage to ask him out. But he'd turned her down. She was completely sure, and had been completely wrong.

_Maybe I'm just terrible at reading people. Maybe none of what happened yesterday meant anything. Maybe, to Jeff, it was just a day spent with a friend, and everything that happened in the evening was fake. _

_And that's fine, because we ARE friends. _

_It's fine._

_...so why don't I feel fine?_

"Good morning mortals," Pierce greets them brightly as he comes in. "Hey, where's Sour Face? And Pointy Face?"

"Not here yet," Abed says.

"Well, duh, I can see that. Think they're..." he makes a lewd gesture with his fingers. "...again?"

"No!" Annie and Troy both protest. They quickly exchange a curious look.

_Huh, maybe I was right about there being a Troy AND Britta..._

"If you say so," Pierce says, settling into his seat. "Hey, speaking of..." he gestures. "Did I ever tell you guys about the time I got stuck in an elevator with Raquel Welch?"

"No, but I'm sure you're about to," Jeff quips as he comes through the door.

Britta is with him, but that doesn't bother Annie. What DOES bother her is the fact that he doesn't look at her.

"Oh, there you two are," Pierce astutely observes. "And how was the sex?"

Jeff narrows his eyes as he takes his seat. "What sex?"

"Between you and Brittles. You guys are both late, I just assumed."

"What? No!" Jeff exclaims. He still hasn't acknowledged Annie yet. "Ugh, no. Just... no."

"Gee, why don't you say how you REALLY feel, Jeff?" Britta asks snidely.

"Shut up. Plus, what are we, FIVE minutes late? You really think we had sex in five minutes?"

"Yeah, that's like four more minutes than you need."

Jeff glares at Britta. "What is your problem?"

"What is YOUR problem?"

He smirks. "Good one."

"Is... is everybody all right this morning?" Shirley asks, making sure to keep a smile on her face.

_That's a good question. _

"I'm fine," Britta grumbles, sounding anything but fine.

"I'm just hungover," Jeff says.

Annie takes a closer look. He does seem a little rough around the edges this morning. Why would he be hungover, though?

Abed tilts his head. "I didn't know you guys drank last night."

"WE didn't. I did."

"Speaking of doing... So, Raquel and I were staying at the same hotel..."

Annie tunes out Pierce's story. She watches Jeff pull out of his phone, and do... whatever it is that always keeps Jeff so occupied on his phone. He still hasn't looked at her, hasn't said good morning, hasn't even acknowledged her presence.

It feels a little like a slap in the face. Okay, a LOT like a slap in the face. A very sobering slap in the face.

_Oh, SCREW HIM and his handsome pointyness. I can't figure him out. I can't control him, and I can't make him say something he doesn't want to say. So, screw trying to figure out what HE wants. _

_What do I want?_

Annie works out her options. Number one: they can be friends. Number two: they can... not be friends at all.

And that's it. Given the circumstances, those are her choices. So she needs to decide if she wants to be friends with Jeff or not. Or, she supposes, if she CAN be friends with Jeff or not.

But the idea of NOT being friends with Jeff just seems... ludicrous! That would mean never seeing him at all. And even though she once told him that was what she wanted (to stop being friends), it wasn't true. She also told him she finds him creepy and gross, and that's even less true.

_I guess I'm not completely innocent of lying to him, either._

So, friends then. She can do that. That's what they've been doing all along. Right?

She pulls out her phone and sends him a text.

**Good morning :)**

Jeff's expression doesn't change, but she sees him type something back.

**Morning **

Well that's... something. She has to ask, even though Shirley did already.

**You okay?**

He hits three buttons (four if you include "send").

**Yep**

Annie frowns, and resists asking him why he won't look at her. Maybe she just needs to be more specific.

**Were things okay with your mom after I left?**

He narrows his eyes slightly.

**It was ten minutes in the car, you think I screwed it up that quickly?**

Okay, texting was a bad idea, you can't convey tone in text.

**No, I just didn't really hear from you last night**

**I was just curious**

Jeff purses his lips.

**I didn't hear from you, either**

That's true, Annie didn't contact him.

**I was kind of busy dealing with a hysterical Troy **

Jeff steals a quick glance at Troy. Or maybe Annie just imagines he does.

**And I was busy drinking**

Annie puts her phone down on the table. This isn't working. The whole exchange has just left a bad taste in her mouth.

"...so after I regaled her with stories of my time in Africa, she FINALLY agreed to blow me, and-"

"No!" Shirley interrupts. "No, mm-mmm, that's enough! This is terrible story, Pierce! How come the rest of you all are okay with sitting here and listening to it? What is wrong with everybody?"

"Nothing," Troy says grimly.

"Annie? What about you? You've been awfully quiet."

Annie smiles at Shirley. "I'm fine, just tired," she lies. Oh great, she's lying to Shirley now? Maybe Jeff is rubbing off on her...

"Dean dong!" the dean sings at the door.

Everyone groans out of habit, but Annie is certainly glad for the distraction.

"What do you want?" Jeff asks him, a little harshly.

"Now, is that any way to say 'good morning', Jeffrey? What would your mother say?"

Jeff very slowly and deliberately lifts his head to look at the dean, a fake smile plastered to his face. "Good morning. What do you want?"

The dean rolls his eyes. "Well that's... better, I suppose. And I don't WANT anything, I just came by to see if Abed needed any assistance with his latest movie project."

Annie and Jeff both turn to Abed in alarm.

Abed looks confused. "No, why would I need your assistance?"

"Oh, well, I'm sure you have it under control. It just sounds like an interesting project, I can't wait to see how it turns out."

"But I haven't even told you what my latest movie project is."

_Oh, crap!_

"Annie told me about it yesterday. Anyway, if you'd like any help, just... let me know." He clasps a hand on Jeff's shoulder. "You know where to find me."

"Okay," Abed says, still looking confused.

The dean stays where he is for a second, with his hand still on Jeff. When nobody says anything else, he reluctantly leaves with a dramatic sigh.

"Okay, what was THAT about?" Britta asks, before the dean is probably out of ear shot.

"Nothing," Jeff snaps.

Abed is looking at Annie. "Why did you tell Dean Pelton about my movie?"

She blushes. Of course, Abed ALWAYS has a movie project on the go. "I didn't."

"Then what on Lord's good earth was he talking about?"

"What part of NOTHING is hard for you to understand?"

"Don't you take that tone with me, Jeffrey," Shirley warns.

"Ugh, can we just... study, please? Last I checked, we were still a study group." Jeff throws open his biology textbook.

"Actually, I'd like to know why you lied to the dean," Abed says.

Jeff sighs, exasperated. "WHY?"

"Because this lie involves me, apparently."

Abed's right, they shouldn't have dragged him into it. "It was my fault," she tells him. "Dean Pelton saw us in the grocery store yesterday, so to deflect from the fake relationship stuff, I told him we were just doing scenes for your movie."

"Oh, so you guys are lying WITHIN your lies now, that's a step in the right direction," Britta says with a sneer.

Abed still looks confused. "Was Jeff's mom with you?"

"What? No, of course not."

"Then why were you acting like a couple?"

Annie can feel her face burning. "We weren't."

"But then how did he something what was going on?"

"Because he always knows EVERYTHING that's going on," Jeff jumps in. "Look, if we're not going to study, I'm going to get a coffee."

"Hmm. I still think you're leaving something out."

"That's it," Jeff says, slamming his book shut. Then without another word, without a good bye, without even so much as a glance in the group's direction, he grabs his things, stands, and leaves.

He didn't look at Annie once.

Not ONCE.

"Oh dear," Shirley says sadly. "Should someone go after him?"

"Ugh, I will," Britta offers.

"I BET you will," Troy bites at her.

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I think you know."

Britta scowls at him.

"Would anyone like to hear the rest of my story?" Pierce asks cheerfully.

Everyone responds in unison with an emphatic "NO."

"Well fine, then I'll see you gaywads at lunch," Pierce mumbles, looking hurt. He leaves as well.

"Why aren't you off chasing after Jeff yet?" Troy asks bitterly.

"Ugh! Why don't you grow up?"

"Why don't you SHUT up?"

"How about I do you one better, and leave!" Britta practically shouts, storming out.

"You were already leaving!" Troy yells at her back. Then his face contorts, and Annie can see the inevitable tears.

"Oh, no, Brit-ta! Wait!" Shirley calls, following her out the door.

Troy bites his fist, trying to hold back a sob. But it doesn't work, and he runs out of the room (in the opposite direction) just as he starts crying.

"I should probably..." Abed says, pointing after Troy.

Annie nods.

Abed leaves.

And Annie is left alone in the group room, wondering exactly when and how everything went to hell.

She needs a plan.

If she's going to get through the day, and the weekend probably... hell, the rest of her time at Greendale even, she's going to need a plan. She can't sit here and think about Jeff, because it gets her nowhere. As much as she thinks she might know, the only way to know for sure is to ask him.

And she can't do that. If she backs him into a corner, he's going to lash out. Push her away. Whenever they get close, that seems to happen.

Like this morning.

_That WAS really rude of him, wasn't it? Even if I take him at his word, being hungover shouldn't have stopped him from acknowledging me. Or looking at me. It's like he's... mad at me for something._

But, again, it doesn't matter. As far as Annie knows, everything went fine yesterday, so there's no reason for him to be mad at her. And it's like Abed said, you can't know what's going on underneath. All you can know for sure is what you see, and what people do. If Jeff had wanted to be with Annie, he would have done something about it.

_It's not like he never had the chance... _

Annie absolutely refuses to let her thoughts get the better of her. She'd probably go crazy again before she figured Jeff out.

_So that's enough. We are friends, and I will act accordingly. No more why's, no more what-if's, no more reading into anything. _

It's easier said (or thought, as the case may be) than done, but it's a start.

Annie spends the rest of the morning immersing herself in her classes. She participates even more than normal, takes even more notes, and keeps her brain as filled as she can. Every time thoughts about Jeff intrude, which happens more often than she'd like, she simply bats them away like annoying flies.

And, just like annoying flies, they keep coming back.

Buzzing in her ear.

Saying things like, _"But the kiss! You can't ignore that!"_

Sure she can, stupid thought-flies. She can ignore it all. She HAS to ignore it all if she's going to stand a chance at actually being Jeff's friend. There's just no way around it.

So she lets them buzz away, refusing to listen to them.

By the time lunch rolls around, she's ready for bed again. This is exhausting, and she's running on little sleep. But the buzzing did eventually quiet down, and she got a lot of work done this morning. She just has to keep it up, and she'll be fine.

Annie scans the cafeteria for signs of anyone else, and is relieved to spot Shirley and Britta. She quickly grabs some food and joins them. She can tell that Shirley is trying really hard to keep Britta in good spirits, but Britta looks positively miserable.

"Oooh, how about some ice cream?" Shirley suggests. "I'll go get us some!"

Once Shirley is far enough away, Annie leans across the table to Britta, who is staring down at her mostly empty plate. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Britta mumbles without looking up.

"Well, I know you and Troy had a fight yesterday, and I was-"

Britta's head snaps up and she grabs Annie's wrists. "Did he tell you what about?"

"What? Um, no. I mean, not exactly."

Britta tightens her grip, panic streaking across her face. "What did he say?"

"Nothing! Just that you guys had a fight. I didn't understand the rest." Annie had NOT expected a reaction like this.

Britta lets go, and looks down at her plate again. "I'm fine."

It's such an obvious lie that it makes Annie wonder if any of them ever tell the truth about anything.

Ever.

Pierce and Abed arrive shortly after, and they're subjected to the rest of Pierce's story. Which, really, is just more lies. Disgusting, repulsive lies. But it means that Annie doesn't have to say anything, so she supposes there's a silver lining.

Troy doesn't show up for lunch.

Neither does Jeff.

In fact, Annie doesn't see or hear from Jeff for the rest of the day. And that bothers her. It really, really, REALLY bothers her. Even if they're not going to TALK, she'd still like to talk. She has the sinking feeling that he's avoiding her, which only strengthens her theory that he's mad.

But WHY would he be-

_NO. No why's. You can't know why, and if you ask him why, you know he's going to deny it. So just go back to ignoring it like you did this morning. Stick to the plan._

But her plan doesn't work as well for the afternoon. She finds herself repeatedly checking her phone, and scolds herself each time she does. The buzzing of the Jeff thought-flies gets louder and louder until her head is pounding. All of the thoughts from the past two days are crashing into each other, wearing down her resolve, making her more and more frustrated.

And by 3:00pm, after not hearing a peep from him all day, her plan has crumbled completely. She can handle being friends with Jeff. She WANTS to be friends with Jeff. And that's clearly all that he wants too. She's okay with that. (No really, it's fine.)

But she can't handle being ignored.

ESPECIALLY not after what she did for him.

So she waits for Jeff outside of his last class, fiddling with the straps of her backpack, trying to keep her ever-growing anger in check.

"Annie? What are you doing here?"

She turns to see Britta, of all people. "I'm waiting for Jeff. Wait, what are YOU doing here?"

"Oh, well, I'm also... waiting for Jeff."

"I KNEW it!" Troy shouts from behind them, having apparently materialized out of thin air.

"You knew WHAT?" Britta bites back.

"It's Jeff! JEFF is who you're seeing, I KNEW it!"

Britta looks scandalized. "It is NOT Jeff, okay?"

Annie takes a couple of steps backwards, trying to get out of the crossfire.

"Who the hell else would it be, Britta? He's the only other guy you ever spend time with! Why won't you just TELL me?"

"Because! Because it's NOBODY, okay? I'm not dating ANYONE!"

Troy stares at her with his mouth open. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU BRITTA! Then WHY did you-"

"Hey!" Jeff interrupts in a whisper-yell. He's leaning out of the back door of the classroom. "Would you guys mind moving your Degrassi High episode elsewhere? You're kind of disrupting my class here."

"Well, we were waiting for you," Britta coolly informs him.

Jeff sighs and looks from Britta to Troy. And then... back to Britta.

For Annie, it's the last straw. She deliberately turns to Britta. "It's okay, apparently I don't even exist, so that's one less person for him to talk to," she says through a forced smile, turning on her heel to walk away.

"Annie, wait."

But she's tired of waiting for him. She's tired of him lavishing attention on her, and then taking it away again. She's tired of only being around him when it's convenient for him.

"Annie! Stop, come on."

Jeff grabs her arm, and she whips around to face him, all of her frustration and anger on the brink of bursting. "Why are you avoiding me?"

He looks startled, and his eyes fix onto some spot above her shoulder. "What? I'm not-"

"Oh, come off it, Jeff! You've barely said a word to me all day! You haven't even LOOKED at me!"

"Annie, I-"

"You're not looking at me right now!"

He clenches his jaw, and reluctantly meets Annie's gaze. But only for a split second. Which is almost even worse.

"Did I say something to piss you off?"

"No."

"Well, did I DO something then?"

"No."

Annie's at a loss. She laughs dryly. "Have I done ANYTHING in the past three days aside from help you?"

"No!"

"Then WHAT is your problem?"

Jeff opens his mouth to say something, but then clamps it shut.

_See? Pointless!_ Annie turns to leave again.

But again, he stops her. "What did you say to my mom?"

It catches Annie off-guard. "What did I- what?"

"What. Did you say. To my mom?" his voice is low, and dangerous.

"What are you TALKING about, Jeff? When?"

"When," he scoffs. "The ONLY TIME you were talking to my mom without me!"

The bathroom. What could she have possibly said in the bathroom that would make him this mad? "I don't know, Jeff, nothing!"

"Obviously you said SOMETHING."

"Yeah, I said NICE things. I said nice things about you! Seriously, what is this actually about?"

"My mom thinks I'm love with you!" he blurts out.

That explains exactly... nothing. "What?"

"She thinks I'm completely in love with you! She thinks you're amazing, and we should get married and have babies!"

Annie opens her mouth, but no sounds comes out. So she ends up staring at Jeff for a second, probably looking like a fish. "I'm sorry, are you mad at me because I did TOO GOOD of a job pretending to be your girlfriend?"

"No, I'm mad because we can't ever fake break up!"

"...WHAT?"

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now, Annie? Just have you tag along to family events as my fake girlfriend forever?"

Okay, so he's gone insane. That would explain a lot. "WHY don't you just tell her we broke up?"

"I can't, she'd kill me!"

Annie balls her hands into fists. "So... tell her I cheated on you!"

He laughs. "You know what? She wouldn't believe that."

Annie's had enough. She throws her arms in the air. "Then here's a novel idea: why don't you TELL HER THE TRUTH? I think she deserves that!"

He narrows his eyes and points a finger at her. "I KNEW it!"

"Knew WHAT?"

"That you weren't okay with all of this! How could you be? You're willing to work out an elaborate scheme to teach me a lesson when you catch me lying about ONE class, but you're okay with me lying to my mom for thirteen years? I KNEW that wasn't possible!"

Something snaps. Annie takes a step forward, right into his personal space. "No, you know what? I was okay with it. I was totally with you on this, Jeff, until I talked to her in the bathroom!"

"WHY? What the hell did she say?"

"That all she's ever wanted is for you to be happy! That she wants to know who you are, and be a part of your life! I mean, god, Jeff, she's so NICE! She's so FORGIVING! Why the hell are you so scared of telling her the truth?"

Jeff rubs his face, clearly frustrated. "You don't understand, okay? You don't understand what it's like to-" he cuts himself off.

Annie takes another step toward him. Now they're mere inches from each other. "I don't understand what it's like to... what?"

Yet again, he avoids her gaze. "Nothing, never mind."

"No, no, PLEASE go ahead, Jeff. Say it. I don't understand what it's like to disappoint my parents? Or was it, I don't understand what it's like to have a mother who's caring, and forgiving, and supportive, and who wants to be a part of my life? Because then you're right, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT'S LIKE!"

As Annie storms off down the hall (he doesn't try to stop her this time), it hits her.

It wasn't guilt she was feeling yesterday.

It was envy.

She's ENVIOUS of Jeff. That he has a mother who's not ashamed of him, even after finding out some he's made some terrible choices. That he has a mother who clearly loves him, and cares about him, and wants to know him.

And she's mad at Jeff for squandering it.

She walks home, absolutely fuming.

_Maybe we can't be friends._

_...Maybe I don't WANT to be friends. _

The worst part is: Annie honestly doesn't know. She doesn't know what she wants from Jeff. And the more she tries to think about it, the angrier she gets.

When she gets home, she slams the door behind her, and then stops.

_Now what?_

She needs something to keep her busy. Keeping distracted is the only way she's going to cope.

So she cleans. She cleans the entire apartment from top to bottom.

She's scrubbing the kitchen floor when Troy and Abed arrive home. Troy heads immediately for his "room", but Abed comes to sit at their bar counter.

"How's Troy doing?" Annie asks him from the floor.

"Not great. How are you doing?"

Annie sighs and drops her sponge into the bucket. "I have no idea."

Abed nods thoughtfully. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, but thanks."

"Okay. Do you want help cleaning?"

Annie smiles at him gratefully. "No, but thanks. I'm just doing this to distract myself anyway."

"Oh, you should come watch a movie with us, then. You look tired."

She IS tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Watching a movie suddenly seems like the best idea she's ever heard. So she agrees, and lets Abed help her up from the floor.

They watch Caddy Shack, which does a decent job of keeping the thought-flies at bay. About halfway through the movie, Abed orders them a pizza.

There's a knock on the door five minutes later.

"That was fast," Troy remarks. "Can they even MAKE a pizza that fast?"

"I doubt that's the pizza, Troy," Abed says, pausing the movie and getting up.

Troy looks confused. "Who else would it be?"

Annie shakes her head; she has no idea.

"Annie!" Abed calls.

Her stomach does a flip. She tries to remember to take deep breaths as she heads for the door, telling herself that it won't be him, anyway.

But sure enough, there he is, standing in the front hallway.

Annie crosses her arms, feeling the need to guard herself. "What do you want, Jeff?"

At least he's making eye contact this time. "I just... want to talk to you."

"What if I don't want to talk to you?"

He sighs. "Well, I can't say I blame you. Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you, okay?"

"You're sorry you yelled at me," Annie repeats.

"Um, yeah."

"That's it?"

"Well, no, but..." Jeff looks to Abed, who is still standing in the hall with them. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

Annie's not sure she wants to hear it. Apparently she can't tell his truth from his lies, anyway, so how is she supposed to know he's being genuine now? "No."

"Annie..."

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Jeff. Just go home."

"Annie, come on."

Her anger flares up at him. "That's the best you've got? 'Come on'?"

"No. I mean I'm not-"

"How much if what you said last night was true?" Annie suddenly finds herself asking. It certainly wasn't intentional. She's walking toward him too, now, when did that happen?

"I- I, um-" Jeff stutters, instinctively backing away from her.

"How MUCH, Jeff?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know."

"Ugh! Just get out!" She's had enough. She pushes by him and opens the door.

"No, Annie, wait, just-"

"OUT."

Jeff looks like he's going to argue some more (or maybe he does, what the hell does Annie know?), but he walks to the doorway instead. "Just so you know, I'm not leaving."

Annie glares at him, her hand itching to slam the door in his face. His stupid, handsome, pointy face. "You're not leaving?"

"No, I'm going to sit in the hallway until you're ready to talk to me."

She laughs humorlessly. "Yeah, sure, of course you are."

"I mean it, Annie."

"Yeah? Well I'm tired of figuring out what you mean, Jeff. So, do whatever you want!" She doesn't quite slam the door, but it's fairly satisfying nonetheless.

"Are you okay?" Abed asks her.

"I'm fine, just... don't let him in. He'll be gone soon, I'm sure."

There's no way he's going to stay out there.

_He'll sit there for ten minutes, and then leave. If he hasn't left already._

But when the pizza comes half an hour later, he's still there.

_Okay, MAYBE he'll sit there for an hour. MAYBE. Then he'll give up, and go home._

Annie tries desperately to pay attention to the movie. And to the next movie after that. But knowing that Jeff is sitting right outside her front door is making it impossible. Her thoughts aren't even solitary flies any more, they're like a... swarm.

A swarm of locusts.

Of very pissed off, aggressive, LOUD locusts.

And no matter what she does, they won't shut up.

Before they all go to bed, Abed peeks out the door. "He's still here."

Okay, it's been hours now. Annie is equal parts impressed and exasperated. Why won't he just go home? "And I still don't want to talk to him. You can tell him I'm going to bed, I'm sure that'll get him out of here."

Actually, Annie's not sure at all. She's not really sure of anything at this point. But for the second night in a row, she's exhausted, and just wants to go to bed. So she does.

But of course... she can't sleep.

She spends the night tossing and turning, running the entire events of the last three days through her head. It doesn't help any, but she can't stop herself. She can't distract herself or keep herself busy enough to drown out the swarm. Not when he's twenty feet away.

So she breaks apart and analyzes every single interaction that happened between them over the last seventy-two hours. Then she goes further back, and starts doing the same thing for previous week. And then the previous month, and then the previous three YEARS, until it's all a jumbled mess of feelings, and denial, and jealousy, and looks, and deceit, and hidden meanings, and HER and JEFF even though there is no her AND Jeff.

Then, finally around 4:00am, she FINALLY passes out.

She dreams of locusts.

When she wakes up sometime later in the morning, she can smell... something cooking.

It smells good.

In a complete fog, Annie drags herself out of bed to see what Troy and Abed are making. And to make sure they're not going to burn the place down.

But when she opens her bedroom door, she's thoroughly confused. There's somebody in her kitchen, but it's certainly not Troy or Abed. He's WAY to tall to be-

_No._

_No way._

_There's just no possible way._

_Is there?_

Annie cautiously approaches the kitchen, not willing to rule out the possibility that she's completely hallucinating. If she is, though, then her hallucination is making pancakes. That's... a little elaborate to be just in her head.

She walks slowly to the end of the bar.

It's Jeff.

And he looks, well, about how you'd expect someone to look having spent the night in a hallway. He either doesn't see her, or chooses not to acknowledge her right away.

So Annie watches him for a second. All of her frustrating thoughts are still there, but they seem duller now. Maybe she's just too tired to hear them.

Jeff flips a finished pancake onto a plate (rather impressively, Annie can't help but admit), and turns to hand it to her. "Blueberry pancake?"

She looks at the pancake, and then back up at him. "Where are Troy and Abed?"

He frowns. "They went to go scout scene locations. Do you... do you want me to leave?"

Annie sighs heavily. The pancake does look really good. "No," she says, accepting the plate. "Were you really out there all night?"

"Yeah."

Dammit, now she feels bad. "Well... I wasn't doing this to be cruel."

"I know."

"I just really didn't think you'd stay."

"I said I would."

"You've said a lot of things, lately."

Jeff swallows hard. "Yeah, I know, but if you're not ready to-"

Annie thinks about it for a second. "No, I'm ready."

He nods, looking nervous. He takes her plate back from her, and puts the pancake in the oven, on top of a small pile he's already keeping warm in there. Then he takes Annie's arm, and leads her to the couch.

They sit.

Annie is nervous too; she has no clue what he's about to say, but she's willing to hear him out.

Jeff takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For how I treated you yesterday. You were right, you've done nothing but help me, and I was a completely jerk to you."

_It's a start..._ "Yeah, you kinda were."

"No, I really was. I know that. And I'm really sorry. I just... my mom said those things to me after we dropped you off, and I panicked."

Annie sighs. "It's not just yesterday, Jeff."

He looks down. "I know."

"I mean, I feel like I'm going a little insane, here. And I've been insane before, so I actually know what I'm talking about. Just when I think I know what's going on between us, it turns out I don't." She hesitates for a second. "Do you even want to be my friend?"

Jeff's head snaps back up. "What? Why would you ask that? Of course I do!"

"Well, you certainly don't act like it. Not all the time, anyway. Honestly, Jeff, you kiss me at the Tranny Dance, and tell me not to tell anyone, meanwhile you're off telling your mom that we're dating. You act jealous, and then tell me I'm reading too much into things, and then you turn around say the exact opposite, but you do it in the midst of a bunch of lies and half-truths. You just..."

"Confuse you."

"Yes!"

"If it's any consolation, I confuse myself just as badly. Probably worse."

Annie sighs again.

Jeff takes her hand; she doesn't pull away. "I want to be honest with you, Annie, I do. Because you deserve that. So just... ask me what you want to know, and I'll tell you."

She looks at him for a minute.

This is what she wanted, right? The chance to sit down with Jeff and ask him what the hell is going on? And here he is. So why is this making her nervous?

Annie closes her eyes and asks the first question that pops into her head. "Were you ever serious about Slater or Britta?"

"No, that part was true."

She keeps her eyes closed. "Were you really jealous of Vaughn the entire time I dated him?"

"Yes, also true."

She opens her eyes. "Why did you pick me?"

He slowly shakes his head. "You were... the first person that came to mind."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He winces. "Okay, yeah, that was a lie. I didn't forget. I just couldn't tell you. I couldn't explain it."

Annie's dancing around the big question, she knows that. But she's too scared to ask. So she goes with, "Why were you so mad at me yesterday?" instead.

He gives her a curious look. "I thought we'd covered that one."

"No, why were you so mad at ME yesterday? Did it never occur to you that maybe your mom thought you were in love with me because you were PRETENDING to be in love with me?"

"Honestly? No, it didn't."

That irritates Annie. "Well, why not? I mean, why did you assume I had done something?"

"Because, I wasn't trying that hard!"

She narrows her eyes at him. "What?"

"I wasn't... trying that hard to pretend, Annie. It's not like I consciously acted differently around you. I mean, everything I did, everything I said... none of it was planned. I took Abed's advice and just improvised, but it was really... easy. Besides, YOU were the one who kissed ME twice that day. What was that about?"

Annie blushes. "The first one was just a decoy."

He raises his eyebrows. "And the second one? Right before my mom arrived?"

"That was for... luck."

Jeff gives her a look.

"Okay, fine. I don't know. I don't know why, Jeff, it's not likeI planned out anything I said or did! It was just instinct."

"So... you weren't trying that hard, either."

Annie softens a bit. "No, I wasn't."

"And yet somehow my mom still thought we were a happy couple."

"Seems that way."

Jeff looks down at their hands. "What do you think that means, exactly?"

"GAAAHHH IT MEANS YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER!" Troy explodes, popping out from around the corner. "GOD YOU GUYS SUCK! SO! MUCH!"

They can only watch in stunned silence as he storms past them through the living room. Annie hears the door to the Dreamatorium slam shut. Abed is close on his heels. They hear the door open, then close again.

Annie looks back to Jeff. He nods toward the Dreamatorium. "So, Troy seems to be doing better."

She shakes her head in disbelief. "Do you think they were just hiding in the front hall this whole time?"

"Yes, yes I do. I guess I was too sleep-deprived to notice them."

Annie takes a deep breath. There's not much point in beating around the bush now. _Just ask him. Ask him. DO IT! _"Jeff... do you have feelings for me?"

He looks her straight in the eye. "Yes."

It's almost enough to make her tear up, but she keeps her composure. She clears her throat. "So... what do you want to do?"

"Well," he says, shifting a bit closer to her. "I want to eat breakfast. And take a long nap, and shower, and brush my teeth. Not necessarily in that order."

"Uh huh..."

"But after that... I'd... really like to take you out to dinner."

That cozy warmth bursts through Annie, in the best way possible. Not only does it obliterate her swarm of thoughts, but it leaves behind a giddiness that she's never quite felt before. She bites her lip to stop herself from beaming. "Can I think about it?" she teases him.

"Wow, you really do suck."

Annie laughs, and pulls him off the couch so they can go have breakfast. "Do you think Troy will be okay?"

Jeff nods. "Yeah, Britta will come around. She's just in denial."

"Oh, did she talk to you about it?"

"A little bit Thursday night, and a little yesterday morning. I tried to tell her that she was being ridiculous, but then she called me a hypocrite, and... I couldn't really argue with that."

Annie and Jeff set the table for four, in case Troy and Abed want to join them. As they sit down to eat, Annie realizes she has one lingering question.

"Hey, the dean never told us how he knew about our fake relationship, did he?"

"No, I guess he didn't. But he was the one who brought my mom to find me in the first place."

"Oh that's true. I can't imagine the dean would pass up the opportunity to talk to Jeff Winger's mother for a bit." She realizes the implications of that as soon as she says it, and looks at Jeff in alarm.

He looks equally as appalled. He puts down his fork. "Excuse me for a sec, I think I have to make a phone call."

Then he stands, and presses a kiss to the top of her head, like it's already an old habit for things to be this way.

And like it's exactly the way things should be.

**Epilogue: What Marilyn Said**

"Just drop me off at the front," Marilyn says as they near the hotel.

"Are you sure?" Jeff asks her.

She nods, smiling.

He pulls up to the curb and turns off the car.

"I had a very nice time tonight, Jeffrey, thank you."

He smiles at her. "Yeah, I'm... glad you came."

Marilyn chuckles. "ARE you?"

"Okay, granted, I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, given the circumstances, but... yeah, I am." Oddly enough, it's true.

"Just try to make it less than a year before we do this again, okay?" his mom teases.

"Well, now you have my phone number, address, email, AND you know where to find me five days of the week. It should be a lot easier for you to track me down next time."

"Jeffrey..."

"Kidding! I'm just kidding."

Marilyn pats his hand, and is about to get out, but he has to ask her. He shouldn't ask her, but he HAS to ask her.

"Hey, mom..."

She turns back to him. "Yes?"

God, he really shouldn't be asking this. But dammit, he HAS to know. "What do you think of Annie?"

Marilyn breaks into a wide smile. "I think she's absolutely lovely. Why, were you worried I wouldn't like her?"

"No, no, I knew you'd like her. I just... I don't know... didn't you wonder, at any point, whether I was lying about her too?" Oh god, why did he say that? He's going to blow it.

His mom looks at him curiously. "No, I didn't."

He raises his eyebrows. "No?"

She smiles, shaking her head. "Not for a second."

"Why not?"

"Jeffrey, I may not know you as well as I thought I did, but you're still my son. And I have never seen you look at anyone the way you look at Annie."

Jeff doesn't know how to respond to that.

"It's a little bit scary, isn't it?"

He narrows his eyes. "What is?"

"Being in love."

"...A little bit," he hears himself agreeing.

Marilyn smiles at him sympathetically. "I know your father and I didn't set a great example for you growing up, but don't let that deter you."

"Deter me from what?"

She shrugs. "Being in love. Falling head over heels for her, which you clearly already have. Getting married, having babies..."

"Yeah, I don't think we're quite there yet."

She smiles knowingly. "You will be. I'm just saying, make sure you let her in. You don't need to guard yourself around Annie. You might lose her if you do."

"Hmm."

"You don't have to worry. She loves you, too, you know."

Jeff looks at his mom. "You think?"

"No, Jeffrey, I KNOW she does."

"Why, did she say something?"

Marilyn simply smiles, pulls out her phone, presses a few buttons, and then hands it to him.

It's a picture of him and Annie. They're sitting at the table in Jeff's apartment, he has his hand resting on her shoulder, and they're smiling right at each other. It gives Jeff a feeling that he can't describe, but it makes him nervous. Extremely, extremely nervous.

"I didn't even see you take this."

"Neither of you did," she says, taking back her phone and opening the door. "Good night, Jeffrey."

"Yeah, good night," Jeff replies absently. "Hey, can you-"

"I already emailed it to you."

"Thanks."

Jeff doesn't want to think about tonight. He doesn't want to think about everything that happened, everything he said (and why), and he especially doesn't want to think about how that picture makes him feel.

He wants to drink. A lot. And that's exactly what he's going to do.

But before he does, Jeff can't resist doing one thing.

He checks his email.


End file.
